My dad

Hy Mylojake

You are helping by the fact that you have reached out to this wonderful forum. Here you will find support and help and it won't be long before you have several replies. 

Okay, it might be an idea to put as much detail in your profile as possible. For example, you dad's age, psa results, any Gleason scores etc. This will help members to respond in the most useful way.

My husband is 78 and has many health issues. He was diagnosed almost two years ago and his, like your dad's, has what they call metastasised, i.e. spread from the prostate to other areas. My husband's has spread to his thighs, sternum and a couple of other areas which I can't remember. He can only have hormone injections at the moment due to the other health issues, but his initial psa was 1200 and came down very rapidly to an acceptable level, purely on the hormone treatment. Prostate cancer needs testosterone to grow and by reducing this, which is what the injections do, it will slow and can shrink the cancer including those that have spread. As I said, this was two years ago and he is doing well.

However, there are also side effects to this type of treatment and I will leave others to describe how they are feeling or felt. The main one I noticed in my OH was pretty extreme fatigue and unpredictable mood swings. I can only imagine that it may be very similar to those which women experience during a difficult menopause, including hot flushes, which although I have gone through the menopause as am 72, I still suffer night sweats regularly. On a lighter note, he did suddenly take an interest in cooking and developed a taste for making apple pies!!! Thankfully, he got bored doing that, and now sticks to his office instead, leaving the kitchen to me. 

It is understandable that he has shutdown and your first job will be to try to persuade him to either join this site or at least talk to family and friends. You can relay to him the responses you will get from some fabulous people on this forum who are more than willing to help. Your dad is in shock of course, but reassure him that even though the cancer has spread and may be deemed incurable as my husband's is, it is still treatable. Depending on his age, they do say most men die WITH prostate cancer, than because of it.

Give us a little more detail, and we will all do what we can help you, which is to help you support your dad through this journey which is what he will desperately need right now.

Best regards

Gina

Hi MiloJake,

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad and his diagnosis, there will be plenty of people here that will be able to give you a better answer than me but I will try. When my partner was diagnosed with cancer our biggest fear as well as what would happen to him was, how do we tell our children. As a parent it doesn't matter how old your children are you are scared to tell them news like this, you worry about how they will take it. When we did eventually tell our children we were relieved at how well they took it, how supportive they were. They have both been there if we needed them. This I think is all you can be. Your dad probably needs time to adjust to his diagnosis and that will be something he can only do himself, knowing that you are there for him and supportive will take some of worry away while he processes things.
You don't say how old your dad is? do you know anymore about his treatment and what he's been offered? I'm guessing he's stage 4? If you have anymore details you will be more likely to have someone in a similar position answer and then they can help you more hopefully.

Best wishes to you and your family

L

Be positive and keep talking!  Reassure your Dad that he is not alone and now he has his diagnosis treatment can be targetted.  There is an enormous amount of support on  this forum from many brave and positive people.  We wish you and your Dad all the best on the journey ahead.