Worried about my husband

Hi Ravenfae 

The waiting is one of the worst aspects ( in my opinion) of PC. Every stage you go through, seems to have a few weeks wait. This is par for the course.

PC doesn't always show symptoms- certainly didn't for me - and like your husband, they diagnosed me following a non related blood test. In some respects I found this the most scary.

You havnt mentioned if treatment has started, but I'm guessing not as there are a number of scans still to planned. If I'm wrong then maybe the nausea is a side effect. 

My feeling, however, is that it's the shock of the diagnosis. I can still recall walking across the hospital carpark on a lovely August day in 2019. Traumatic. 

When you have more details,  let us know, as I'm sure someone can help.

Regards

Stuart

Hi Raven 

Sorry to hear about your OH, it is a big shock when u first hear but it does get better.

Do u have any more detail  about what the MRI shows apart from inflammed nodes.

Yes anxiety can cause problems with loss of appetite, am sure that will improve.

Keep us posted, there are many on here who can help you

Best wishes

Steve 

Steve, Thanks for taking time to reply…they just told us they were pretty sure it had gone into his lymph nodes too  (pelvic area)by looking at his mri, even talked about hormone treatment!  Had biopsy done and more scans plus ct….we will know more on the 21st April..terrified atm. 

Hi Ravenfae - Welcome to the club, I know you didn't want to join but it's the best place to be to obtain help, information and just let off steam. 

The issue with Prostate Cancer is the journey takes time from diagnosis to appointment to treatment etc etc. The good thing is that PC is a slow growing treatment and once you are in the system it works, the anxiety of waiting is worse than the treatment and I know it affects the wife/partner more than the patient!

As Stuart and Steve above have said above, keep us posted with results and details of the diagnosis and there will be plenty of help and advice here.

As an aside you can follow my journey through the last 16 months from diagnosis to curative treatment (I feel amazing today!) by clicking on the Icon of the beach by my name. I don't want to be alarmist but, and I hope this isn't the case - I started my personal journey by going off my food and feeling tired and a blood test (eGFR) indicated kidney failure - the prostate had grown, stopped my bladder from emptying and thus crushed my kidneys!!

Anyway - I hope this helps - We are all here for you - post away and you will always get a reply.

Kind Regards - Brian.

Does it talk about tumour size in mm, that would be useful info.

Even if in the nodes I think I'm right in saying still potentially curable. Just a bit more tricky.

Just one more week and u will know a lot more, fingers crossed , non aggressive type.

Good luck 

Steve 

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! I will get back as soon as we know! so glad I joined, dont think my hubby would join hes very private so I can reassure him with what I learn from you all 

Hello Ravenfae,

I regarded myself fit attending the gym twice per week, walking, gardening etc. The GP discovered possible prostate cancer ( rubber glove examination) following my worries about two spells of feeling very unwell which were initially thought to be a urinary tract infection, both lab tests negative, I was referred to hospital urology Dept and seen quickly had various tests and a biopsy and confirmation I had cancer. My wife and I then knew what we were dealing with which was a little relief moving onto how to treat it. I elected to have robotic radical prostatectomy, but all options were offered. We were seen immediately following diagnosis from the consultant by specialist nurses who spent time listening to us and telling us about what was to happen next. They provided us with contact information so we could call and ask further questions as we were 'shell shocked'. Perhaps the loss of appetite and nauseous issues may be worry. My worries were the fear of the unknown during diagnosis. I joined a local prostate cancer group which hold monthly meeting which was beneficial (wives allowed to attend). It's a club nobody wants to join, but treatment can help many of us. Keep us all updated. Sorry for going on.

Best wishes

Cuthbert 

Thank you so much..we find out more tomorrow our Friday appointment was cancelled due to staff shortages, so our anxiety continues for now. Much appreciate your kindness to contact me.

Sorry to hear of the cancellation. Take care.

Hello Ravenfae, the waiting…for tests, for results, for treatment is , in my experience, the worst part of this prostate cancer journey.

like you, I was absolutely devastated by my husbands diagnosis but I found the support on this forum got me through the worst of it and I hope you find the same. I do though, confess to having spent the first 6 months in tears! But…it’s just as ok to cry as it is to laugh!

we are approaching our 50 th wedding anniversary and I immediately jumped to the worst outcomes possible and was scared silly!

so….take a deep breath and I will tell you of our experiences and research results!

first - prostate cancer is slow to progress in most cases. If caught early enough it is curable. If not it is manageable for many years. 1 in 8 men are now being diagnosed with prostate cancer and there are newer drugs and treatment coming down the track and have been doing so over quite a long while. Research is ongoing so hopefully there will be further improvements?

I feel prostate cancer should be treated as a couples disease. It affects both partners profoundly and I don’t think this is sufficiently recognised. Well - that was my experience!

the treatment pathways can be confusing and there are some difficult choices to make. The professionals have to warn you about potential side effects. It’s important to realise that these are just that - potential. They do not all occur and do not affect everyone the same. Take, weigh up and act upon all the advice you are given!

Try to encourage your husband to engage with what’s happening and to talk! My husband withdrew into a shell and would not even engage with the consultations! He wouldn’t talk to me about the diagnosis . I have never felt so lonely and then, one night, he suddenly told me he had decided he was not going to have any more treatment as he was fed up of ‘messing about’. His cancer was being treated with the ‘intention to cure’. His decision was Another devastating bit of news for me! We had a massive row and he went along for treatment!!

if you have a high incidence of breast or prostate cancer in your family do ask for genetic cscreening ( we are in the middle of this) so other family members can be made aware if they are at risk. And…do tell all your male family and friends to get their PSA checked regularly!

Do reach out for support - here, cancer support groups, friends, family or neighbours going through this. Men , I think, are more likely to prefer not to talk. I think us women might need it more?

Do your own research!

some of the lessons I have learned and I do hope you will get the best news possible and can realise, as we have, that this is just a wake up call. None of us are invincible and the only thing that really matters is the here and now and we have to seize the day and make the most of the time we have now. We are planning outings, holidays etc etc! Spending the kids inheritance and enjoying ourselves together!

love and best wishes x