partner newly diagnosed

Doodledebs,

Welcome to you and your husband to the group none of us thought we could join.

Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.

The best thing to do is just be there for him, there will probably be times he will really need you.

When I was diagnosed, it was really hard trying to seem normal.  I used to have a good cry when I was on my own.

Tracey, my partner really helped me get through this.

Just let him know that you have 2 shoulders if he needs them.

There are lots of good men and women in this forum who have been where you and your husband are.

Us men don't always see how things affect our partners.

Be strong, both of you.

Hi Doodledebs

When I was diagnosed I was numb. Fortunately, my partner ( ex nurse) was with me to digest the information. This was a fluke as I had no idea shy I was seeing the consultant - the GP didn't share her concerns so I went in blind so to speak. As Steve has suggested, try and attend all his meetings so he doesn't miss anything.

Once over the shock, I took the view there is nothing I can do about it so, like your partner, just got on with whatever I was asked to do. Perhaps this is his position too.

Regards

Stuart

Hello Doodledebd

My husband was diagnosed last September. I think I’ve been through every negative emotion possible with a lot of anger and fear ! I cried buckets too!  He just withdrew into himself and did not talk about it…to anyone! He did not engage with his appointments, did not talk to me, other family members, friends ….anyone. I felt totally shut out!  This is why I joined this forum, in fact!

what I have learned is that this illness affects everyone differently and there is no right or wrong way of treating it or dealing with it.  

I said to somebody yesterday that we have faced some tough times in our marriage but this last few months seem, to me, to have been the toughest ever. Perhaps because, looking back, we got through other difficult times but we are still in the middle of this nightmare?

I do hope you and your partner are getting prompt and excellent care and that you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I send you love and best wishes x

Good Morning Doodledebs

Let me throw my twopence worth in too. As a man he may well be "just getting on with it" but deep down it affects us. We think we are strong but we need your support. I know I tried to put a brave face on it and once the shock wore off I found I needed to knock things off Mrs Millibob - it helps that she's a retired nurse.

If you put your partners details up - Gleason score etc it helps the good people on here to give you the correct advice - I know they have helped me! If you click on my image of Oludeniz Beach it gives my details of my journey from diagnosis to date - it's the same with other "members" and you will find we are all different.

Best wishes with your partners journey.

Kind Regards - Brian.

Just re read my post - by "knock things off Mrs Millibob" - I mean - to talk to her - nothing violent!! 

Honest - please don't report me to the moderators.

Welcome Deb's, yes it's a shock for both of you, it'll take a while for you both to get your heads around it!

Much to my wife's annoyance, I'm the type of person who has to research everything that comes my way, I'm a bit of an over thinker!

I do it when we're going to buy anything for our home, technology and absolutely anything!

So with this life changing news, I've saturated my brain with everything about PC and the symptoms, treatments and side effects etc etc!

This is my way of dealing with it and it's worked for me but it's not everyone's choice.

I'm some five months since diagnosis and I'm now accepting of this new chapter in my and my family's life ahead, I'm just going with it and carrying on with life!

I wish you and your partner the very best on your journey and you will get to the same point as me of that I'm sure.

 Graham

Ooh you don't want to say that.

Laughing so much at your last post.