Hi, I’m Dave I’m 68 and just been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Hi Davey 1, There is a lot here that I can't help you with but  a word of warning on the bone scan.  I had a biopsy saying the cancer was contained but the bone scan showed it has spread.  The hospital think the bone scan is incorrect and are now arranging a more detailed Pet scan. So, be careful on making any decision if the biopsy  and bone scan conflict. Best wishes to you.

Just a word about that, biopsy won't show if spread, biopsy really just for aggressiveness of cancer,  having said that a high Gleeson could be an indication of spread but not necessarily.

MRI should show spread outside of the gland then together with a high PSA and Gleeson could well require a bone scan 

Steve 

Hi Grundo, thanks for coming back to me. Out of the 23 biopsy samples 11 were positive, hence the bone scan. My PSA was only 3.6 so quite low, was really surprised by the positive result, hopefully it hasn’t spread. They have told me that they are going to remove my prostate, just got to wait for a date.

Your PSA is near normal,  what made them look for cancer?  What did the MRI show?

Unlikely to have spread,  come back when u know more, u can have surgery or Radiotherapy 

Hi, my psa is 5.4, gleeson 4+3. My biopsy said no   metastasis  and no spread to nymph glands.  Bone scan showed 3 hot spots. Hospital not sure and now want psma scan.  No symptoms. I just think why hospital need second expensive scan if bone scan is correct.  Very confused.

Think u can tell more from psma.

Probably want to check the hotspots.

Think your MRI must have showed no mets not the biopsy.

With that PSA and Gleeson unlikely to have spread , suppose they just want to be sure

Thank you

Hi Dave.  I’m sorry to hear of your troubles. I am giving you my own experiences and reflections as the wife of a man who has recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer in the hope you might be able to understand how differently we all react to this cancer diagnosis.

my husband and I have been together since I was 17 and I am now 70. We’ve been married for almost 50 years. Like you, I think of him as my rock.  We are totally different personalities with different skills and interests. However, these differences, I think, have blended well to enable us to come through many challenges.

when we received the diagnosis my husband withdrew into himself and would not talk about it. I felt completely and absolutely shut out. Each diagnostic procedure compounded our different approaches. I was dreadfully scared about what the future might hold, how I would cope without my rock if the worse came to the worse, how bad life might be with side effects of the treatment etc. I felt so very angry!  My anger was directed at the hospital where we were receiving such a lackadaisical service ( or so it seemed!) we had an appalling administrative delay which meant we lost trust with the hospital and that compounded my mistrust and my anger. I felt like I was fighting a war of my own!  And still my husband refused to talk and engage with what was happening!

then I started to cry!  I have never shed so many tears!  ( I’m crying as I type!) I realise too that I am grieving. I am grieving because it feels like our lives have changed irretrievably. Cancer has taken control! We are on fixed incomes and the cost of living crisis is really impacting but now we have to cut back further to accommodate transport to hospital appointments  -  last month over £100 in parking and petrol and an anticipated cost of £400 per month once radiotherapy starts.  So, we have had to chose between heating, eating and treating.  So, I’m also angry with covid, Putin and our politicians!  the security of our lives has completely dissipated and that’s a tremendous loss. Turmoil swirls around us.

I suspect you and your wife are working through some or all of similar emotions and responses?  Prostate cancer affects both partners but in different ways and with different reactions and responses. I don’t know which is the right way or even if there is a right way. Because my husband has always supported me, I am trying to give him the support he now needs but it’s tough. Perhaps your own natural response of anger is pushing your wife away as much as I feel my husband’s coping strategy of  refusal to engage with it all?  Perhaps your wife is so frightened of your anger and the future that right now her natural instinct is for flight rather than fight?

I hope this helps you realise that you are not alone in this, you are not alone in your own responses, that prostate cancer hits the very core of a relationship… I do know that people further along this horrible journey post very supportive and informative messages on this forum and this offers a lot of support.  I do hope that things turn out for the better for you and I will be thinking of you.

best wishes and best of luck! I’m thinking of you!

Hi worried wife just read you and your husbands journey and had a good cry awfull being in this place my husband 57 found out last year he has advanced PC and it's like someone just squeezed the life out if you so I feel your pain.Husband got treatment at the Freeman Newcastle and he recieved a free pass for parking might be a question to ask at hospital where your husband receives his every penny helps thinking of all the brave people going through cancer 

Hie Joe F. Thank you for your thoughts. I am so very sorry to hear of your husband’s diagnosis and I’m sorry my writing made you cry. That was not my intention.  I think the whole thing from referral by GP onwards is a nightmare journey and perhaps our tears are permitted?

i tried to find out about a free pass at the hospital but they told me to pay in advance, keep a copy of the parking receipts and then they would consider whether or not to reimburse us. We are seeing the oncologist at the beginning of December and hope to get a better idea of what is going to happen and when.

I hope your husband is getting good care and that you are both doing ok. I will be thinking about you!