Refusing Treatment.

Talk it over with them as soon as you can. It’s not their choice it’s yours. They are caring for you and the tests and treatments are there to help you. They will not mind if you explain what’s on your mind.

So what is on your mind Carl28?

"An early bath.. " to preserve as much money as possible. My daughter is insisting that my estate is shared equally between her and her much less well off brother. This will mean he is probably homeless. 

Thanks, I'll discuss with The Man.

Dave.

Hello Dave (Carl28) 

I have some personal experience of this and:

* Providing you have mental capacity the NHS will go with your choice to refuse treatment.

* Your GP will support your choice.

* The NHS will provide ongoing palliative support.

* You will need to document your refusal of further treatment in writing.

Here's a link to Cancer Research UK's information on this:

Making plans - End of Life care.

Our information on an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment is in this link:

Advance-decision-to-refuse-treatment.

it's something that requires very careful thought and to be discussed with family and the professionals who care for you.

Having seen your latest post and understanding it's on financial grounds I would suggest it's a solicitor you need - and not "an early bath".

Best wishes - Brian.

You may not want to talk about it and it’s none of my business but I’m here as are a lot of forum members and Macmillan  financial experts if you need to. But I’m alway about if you want to PM me.

It sounds like you’re set on a course and should but-out but your life is nobody’s but your own. So think twice before boldly stepping over reasoned logic.

Thanks Millibob and Mr U.

I've done an Advance Decision. At moment I'm thinking more about early treatment than end-of-life.

Neither a Solicitor nor reasoned  logic can increase my bank account!

If monies divided equally then I need to leave the X I have at today's prices if half is to be sufficient for my son to retain house where he lives. The longer I live the less sufficient half will be. Simple.

Thanks again, Dave.

Dave, what you have and how you choose to leave it (while you have mental capacity) is entirely up to you.  Leaving gifts of varying percentages to children often causes family rifts, but if you choose to leave 100% to one child and nothing to another, is entirely at your discretion.  

Are you concerned with eating up the equity capital on your current home with care-home costs etc.

Are you getting any benefits to help you where you are?

But you are doing a lot for your kids at a time when, perhaps, it is more normal that the roles are reversed and you are the one being looked after. So who is looking after you?

Legally yes, morally no. My plan wasn't 100/0, but a relatively slight favour 1 way. Not acceptable to the slightly less favoured. Each has already benefitted from my late wife's estate, which all, including her half of the family home went to them, nothing to me.

I couldn't bear to leave family rift.

Dave.

No, only half the house belongs to me  -  my wife left her half to the children. My son lives there, I mainly stay with my gf, but have no financial nor beneficial interest therein by virtue of a properly legal co-hab agreement.

No benefits other than state pension. Certainly not eligible for any!

No one looks after me and I will not entertain a care home as long as I can drag myself to a gutter. If they section me they cannot charge me.

My daughter has a good life/job overseas and I hardly ever see or hear from.her.

My kids come first and that's all there is to it.

Only one way out of which I can think.

Thanks, Dave 

Hi Dave 

To be totally frank with you . Everyone has choices in life .

I honestly think you are needing financial support by having a benefit check done as you will be entitled to attendance allowance . This is not means tested so it’s an extra income.  Speak to your names cancer nurse . 

If your feelings low speak to your GP who can prescribe something or arrange counselling. You can also ask at your local maggie centre as they gave access to.  We find the councillors are amazing and provided us with a different view on life.  

Have you discussed your feelings with your children ?  I know I would prefer to have my dad around rather than any money. You can’t buy it.  

Sometimes our kids go in different directions but they know that they can always lift a phone or visit when it suits them .  Why should you reconsider ?  

At our age in  life is for living even with PC . You mentioned you have a GF . You need to start enjoying yourself. 

Please take care of yourself

Liz & OH xx