I had radical prostatectomy in 2019, Gleason 4+3 psa 18 after mri and ct they couldn’t be sure it hadn’t escaped. I had none nerve sparing surgery and was left with some incontinence which is still with me today, total loss of sexual function. I was given 5mg cialis daily and a ved pump I saw sex specialist nurse who gave me alprostadil which never worked. My wife was going through menopause and didn’t have much interest in sex so went along with it being a proud man and not having the embarrassment of going to see the sex nurses, as my wife came out of the menopause her sex drive increased so I I hit full strength alprostadil it still never gave me the erection for penetration. The ved is awkward and clunky but I’ve managed to use it correctly now but such is my wife’s frustration that she has said she doesn’t like the idea of it ( fallen out of love me she now wants to leave me,.there is a lot more to this story but I’ve tried to compress it . I believed I was cured in 2019 psa barely registers, but believe me my life has been on hold since, my wife says the same.It now looks as if I’ll end my life as a lonely man as it will be impossible to have a meaningful relationship with anyone else.
Hello Red6238e1e4
Welcome to the online prostate group although i am so sorry to find you here under these circumstances.
Sadly with prostate surgery it's impossible to guarantee that you will come out of the surgery with full urinary continence and full sexual function - in many cases this isn't even discussed before the procedure.
I am aware you have received help with this issue but here's a link to our advice on the subject.
Coping-with-treatment/your-sex-life/erection-problems-sexual-well-being.
The subject is also delt with in a thread from our general Cancer Chat group and here's a link to that thread. There are posts by many community members with answers how they (including me) have delt with similar issues:
There are plenty of men out there (I am one of them) who may well be on lifelong medication with no chance of having a "normal sexual function" anymore but there is still a very good chance you can have a very meaningful relationship without full on penetrative sex. There are many other ways of having "fun" I can assure you.
i would also advise you to give our Support Line a call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week), they will also be able to give you further help and advice on this subject.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
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