Living with the emotional after effects of prostate cancer diagnosis

I can empathise with your situation completely. The diagnosis I had in August September 22 made me a different person immediately and it’s taken a lot of soul searching to understand who I am now.

The mental side of this couples disease is the biggest issue alongside the masculinity problems I felt. But I suffered terribly with the dark thoughts not the positives that hide away in the dust of your mind. You probably need counselling by someone close to you or a professional stranger that can help you see beyond the rain and look forward to sunshine in whatever way possible. It’s been three years and I’ve used professionals twice but right now I need a little top up, such is life.

This safe place I call home - the MacMillan Forum - has been a life saver in my wellbeing. I take and I give as I go along. You can use it more to if you want. The fears and tears are always there but someone else has been there too. They might answer your call, if you give them a chance.

Ask your cancer care nurse for a referral to something that might help. I don’t know what’s available but they’ll be something to help you.

Im glad to see you have asked here, as I say it’s safe and anonymous. I see you’ve not added a profile to your page yet. That’s entirely up to you but would help others with similar situations give you a lift. The doldrums are ever present due to your worries but positivity can come from stories of experiences “we” have used to help us that “we” share in total anonymity (if you so wish). We are in this barrel of laughs together all in different stages but we all need each others help occasionally.

Ask for help through your local hospice too. I was surprised how helpful it is when you get inside the door that, I personally, didn’t want to walk through. But I did and I am on the mend. You will too, be on the mend soon. 

Just wanted to pop in and say we are all here for you . 
my husband gets so uptight when he’s due bloods . It’s just awful.We go into out local Maggie Centre and chat with a councillor who is very understanding and supportive 

sending you best wishes & hugs 

liz & OH xx

Hi Clinchy,

This is so much of a shared experience.  I lost me after the operation and during the recovery.  Luckily I had already asked for help before the operation.  My operation was in mid June 2024 and in November 2024 I started having Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.  Sounds scary but it was just a chance to talk openly with a shrink.  I had 8 weeks of 1 hour sessions and by the end I was back to me and accepting the ED that I will have forever.  I now welcome each new day and am loving life.

I so hope you can get the same help and find yourself.  I am not saying I don't worry at every PSA test, but I try to focus on the good stuff and let the bad stuff happen, if it does.

That's a fantastic philosophy - ''focus on the good stuff & let the bad stuff happen if it does''.

I think I'm one of the lucky ones as I generally don't tend to worry about things too much so feels as if this has always been my mantra.  Before I retired, when the proverbial hit the fan (quite frequently as it happens) colleagues always told me they found my laid back attitude helped them deal with the situation.

Maybe it's why I like the Doris Day song Que Sera Sera - whatever will be will be...

You are very right that this illness has a huge impact, both on the sufferer and his loved ones. 

In my case I was in a state of what I can only think of as shock immediately after the diagnosis, only really being able to move forward after a treatment plan was agreed. 

Once that had happened, though, I found myself going in a different direction mentally.

This illness takes a toll, whatever stage you are at. 

I am on a curative pathway. 

Even though that gives me some hope of complete recovery it does mean many years of regular checks. 

The treatment is extended, with 2 more years of hormone therapy to go, even if everything is perfect. 

Under the influence of my disabled daughter I began to think of this as a chronic illness, one to be accepted and dealt with.

This changed my thinking, and since that point I have been dealing with a disability not so much a disease. 

This sounds like a fine point, but it does make a difference. I am slightly less concerned about the various checks and more concerned about "I want to go to this place and enjoy it, how do I plan it?".

In truth, the unrelated back problems that I have had over the last 6 months which have, at the moment, robbed me of my ability to walk more than a few hundred yards, have had a moor immediate impact on my life. 

I think the answer is to plan to live. 

Hello, Just wanted to pop in and say hi and also to say that what you are feeling is completely normal. As others have said, counselling may be a great option, it's not for everyone but if it works for you it will help immensely!

My partner has only recently been diagnosed, he can not be cured and the adjustment to the new normal has been incredibly difficult, we are both mental health nurses and I think that has helped immensely......we have accepted the diagnosis, we dont want it and to say we are alittle pissed about it is a huge understatement but we can't change it so we need to accept to move forward.

We know we wont win the war but we will certainly win many battles and every 3 months we will celebrate those psa results for as long as they are heading in the right direction! 

All the very best to you, use and abuse this forum, make this place your go to! ️