Stage 4 Prostate n Bone Cancer

Hello Delaina A warm welcome to the online Prostate Community although I am so sorry to find you here. I can understand your worries about your dad.

A POA for Health and Wellbeing gives the named person(s) the power to deal with someone's health affairs. If that's not you there may well be another way. My GP (in England) has a standard letter of consent which when signed by the patient allows you as the named person to deal with their medical affairs. You should ask dad's GP practice if they offer this service.

Do also remember our helpline on 0808 808 00 00 is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week and they should be able to offer you some additional help at this time,

Best wishes - Brian. 

Hello Delaunay, I so very sorry to hear about your Dad’s pain and your own distress. Many years ago, when I was doing my nurse training, I was taken to look around St Christopher’s hospice in London. I think this was one , if not the first, of the hospice movement I in the UK? Anyway, I learned a very valuable lesson. It’s more important to get on top of the pain and stay pin top of it with regular pain killers than to wait until the pain gets too bad. That way, they suggested, patients actually need less medication than if they wait until the pain becomes unmanageable. Now - 50 years later, there is a whole armoury of drugs to control pain and other side effects ( including the nausea and vomiting ). I do hope. You and your sister can get around the bureaucracy to get your Dad the medication he needs to be comfortable . Do let us know how things go. X

Myself n my older sister n brother have all been telling my Dsd that he needed to take his pain meds regularly n keep on top of it, but cos he went to my cousin’s over Christmas, cos we lost our Mum on Christmas day 2021 to Alzheimer’s n my Dad cared for her til her last breath. So cos he was away for a couple wks he didn’t want to be doped up on morphine. N since then he’s been wanting to try n continue going out n meeting friends etc…. but gradually he’s been in too much pain n feeling too ill to do much, tho he’s still somehow managed to do his church stuff, n tho he was given the new stronger opioid meds he didn’t want to overdose himself n stuck with the dose stated on the bottle n same wiv the tablets, but this clearly still wasn’t enuf, so my sister told him to contact the pallative care team, n he’s been so stubborn n I don’t think he was being honest to the care team about how severe his pains have been. N cos he’s not been on them long we don’t know if it’s he side affects of the new meds making him sick or if it’s the Cancer or both. I really hope he isn’t gonna suffer like this for mnths on end it’s awful. 

Hello Delaina, I really feel for you and your family. There is such a big armoury out there for controlling pain. I suspect your Dad is trying very much, but not succeeding, in trying to carry on ‘with business as usual’? Has he tried slow release, longer lasting patches rather than half dose morphine out of the bottle, for example? Even though you don’t have his POA,  you can accompany him to a medical consultation so you can hear what is being said and add any of your own observations, perhaps?

HTH

My older sister lives nearer to my Dad, tho she’s going away for 2 wks, so I will most likely be taking him to his Hospt apt so I’ve said to my sister I need to know what meds he’s on n what the Pallative care nurses have advised my Dad. The pallative nurses are going to see him today, as I think he’s on a slow release medication but not certain. He’s on opioids n has liquid pain meds n tablets but he was advised that he could take the meds hourly if he’s in extreme pain n if he did that it’s 3x more than the recommended dose of the 40ml liquids & the tabs , but he was scared of overdosing himself. So he’s not taking that amnt til he gets clarification from the Pallative nurses today. 

Hello Delaina, I hope all goes well with the palliative care nurses today and that you can get answers to your questions when you take your Dad to the hospital appointment. Let us know how things go? X