Feeling overwhelmed

Hello JaneB 

Welcome to the forum - I am so sorry to read your story and can fully understand where you are coming from. First of all let me say use the forum to ask any questions you wish however trivial you may think they are.

I can also understand your feelings of being overwhelmed too. A few suggestions;

* You can join our Carers only forum where other people in your situation can give help and advice. to do this click on the link I have provided and once the page opens up click join on the black banner at the bottom of the page.

* There is a dedicated service to help you called "Carers Trust" they can advise you on plenty of practical support - 0300 772 9600 or e-mail on info@carers.org.

* Give our dedicated support line a ring on 0808 808 00 00 (8-8 7 days a week) they are a great set of people who can also put you in touch with the Macmillan services local to you.

Prostate Cancer like any other cancer affects the entire family and I hope you can find some additional support from the above. If I can do anything else for you please let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thanks so much Brian 

Hello Jane

Two other ideas that may help are:

Maggie's - Maggie's is a super support organisation with centres throughout the UK - You can drop in for a chat and a brew  - To find your nearest Maggie's telephone 0300 123 1801 or e-mail enquiries@maggiescentres.org.

MacMillan Buddies - This is a scheme where you are allocated a "buddy" who will contact you once a week to chat and go through any issues you may have or just to give you a break for half an hour - details at:

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/macmillan-buddies

I hope these are of help - there is always someone around on this forum if you simply want a break or chat - feel free to post anything as and when you feel like it.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi JaneB

So sorry to hear what’s going on with your husband, I know. Oh to well about chemo and sepsis, fortunately you caught it fast and it was dealt with. You husband and I are similar except I had chemo first, then enzalutamide which is gradually stopping Woking. 
My wife who’s my carer, left her job six and a half years ago to look after me. The stress and strain she has gone through breaks my heart, she mentions many times that my family does not know what it is like for her.

I’ve always said that without wives partners, family, we would be lost, I’m especially thankful as my wife looks after and orders all my medications, believe me there’s a lot. So I know how you feel no words can describe what your going through, without you ladies we would be lost.

If there’s a Maggies centre near you, have a chat with the people in there.

Stay safe

Joe

Thanks Joe, I will look into where my nearest Maggies centre is. How did you cope with chemo? Did you find losing your hair difficult? My husband’s hair is just starting to come out and he’s quite upset about it. I think for him it’s about concealing  his diagnosis from others, he’s a very private person and now, with the hair loss it will be there for all to see. Take care Joe x

Hi JaneB

I’m one of those people that if there’s a side effect, yours truly gets it. About the hair loss, I went to the barbers and had a number 2 hair cutter, which removes most of the hair. Eventually most did fall out, but it was winter and I had a woolly cap on, having said that I was not that bothered, I knew what was coming. You can get a cold cap which helps. 
Unfortunately side effects are part and parcel, if this is the only one he suffers with, then he’s doing great.

Stay safe

Joe

Thanks Joe, I have already cut his hair really short so hopefully it will help. I think it’s also fear of what’s to come, especially after sepsis and very low blood count. It’s a visible sign that things are changing. Hopefully it also means it’s zapping the cancer x

Hi Jane, I know how you feel and many others will also.  its very difficult expressing feelings to family and friends about how you feel when it’s your OH  going through worse than we can imagine, so it can be very overwhelming and lonely.
my OH was diagnosed May 22 and after the initial shock and anger  the  focus was on was trying to find out all I could to help him through his treatments.  he has now gone through chemo and radio and is feeling relatively ok but now I feel overwhelmed and at times alone, possibly this it because of more time to think after focusing on the initial fight to help them get through it physically and mentally.  We are trying to live our lives to the full, with adjustments, but it is always there in the back of your mind.  

hopefully the treatment goes well 

very best wishes to you both x

Hi, thanks so much for your reply. Its good to hear from someone who is in a similar position. I feel like you overwhelmed and at times lonely, especially in the quieter parts of the day. I have just given up work to be with my husband. He really needs the support now and I want to be with him. But a lot of the time our lives are about hospital appointments, treatment and  medication. You can feel like you’re losing yourself and it can be sad too. We also want to live life to the full, but at the moment he is in a lot of pain from his fractured hip. We have radiotherapy starting in a couple of weeks, which we hope will help. Then chemo will resume after that. Do you have any support around you? Message me if you would like to. Best wishes to you both. Take care x

Thank you, same here x

i completely understand, the first 10 months for us  was all about appointments, treatments,  meds and coming to terms with the realisation that our lives had changed. I have most certainly changed since his diagnosis, we both have, I am sad that he is living with this and I’m sad that I may have to live without him, it makes me feel sick at times,  but we try to stay positive and look at what we have.  we are fortunate that we were both able to retire early so we decided that once chemo finished in December that we would go away, try get some normality back in our lives before starting radiotherapy, it did us the world of good and gave us hope for happier times, We are a few months down the line from you both but my OH is doing good, he’s making plans and pottering around, for me I still struggle and find it difficult to talk but if I have any worries I try communicate on here, even though I’m not the best at putting my thoughts into writing, but it helps.
hopefully things will look a lot brighter for you both once the treatments have finished and you can find your piece of normality.  

 very best wishes xx