Emotions

Hi Daniel, I fully understand where you are coming from on this!  I can add to it from a partner perspective. I have taken my husbands diagnosis very much as a ‘couples’ illness’. Ok, he has the cancer but the impact is on both our lives. He is going through the treatment but I am struggling with the logistics of the whole thing - ie pushing the hospital to arrange timely diagnostics, driving him to appointments, and, the hardest for me, the mental anguish of seeing him age 10 years in 4 months. Wherever we go, whoever we speak to, everybody asks him how he is etc. I, on the other hand, seem to be invisible or invincible  - don’t know which they are assuming! Like you and your wife - we seem to have jumped out of one ‘category’ of ‘being’ into another socially, too. To give people the benefit of the doubt, it might be that they think they are being kind not to make extra demands on you or it might be that they just don’t know how to broach the topic of cancer but, whatever, it hurts!

Thanks WW, I’m sure nobody was intentionally being malicious, they just don’t understand I suppose. 
Im normally a very level headed person and I’m struggling with just how upset I am by this. 

Hope things are heading in the right direction for you and your husband. 
Very best wishes 

Daniel

Hi Daniel - This is the place to let off steam. I's only the people who are diagnosed with PC and their wives/partners who understand how the diagnosis and subsequent treatment affect our lives.

Before I had my diagnosis PC was "just another form of cancer" and lumped with the heading "Big C".

I was out yesterday with a friend who needs a new hip and two new knees but his wife has told him not to go on at me about his issues and the delays in his treatment - because I have cancer - I am in a better overall situation than he is!!

Most people don't understand PC and as it's going to affect one in 8 men - they need to "wake up and smell the coffee".

Yes I agree, it's happened to me but I put it down to their ignorance - they need educating - try not to let it worry you.

I hope all goes well with your consultant today.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thanks Brian. 
Very best wishes to you and Mrs MB

Hi Daniel. I totally understand where you're coming from with this. My husband is in a very similar situation and time frame as yourself from looking at your bio and I really struggle with the feeling that some of our close friends and family almost seem to have written him off since his diagnosis. I'm sure I'm just being over sensitive as emotions are heightened  - but the radio silence whilst knowing they are out and about with other friends is definitely not easy. 

Hi Woolly - As I have said many times, unless you have PC/Are the wife / partner or someone with medical knowledge you are cast out as if it can be caught just by being in close contact!!

Since my diagnosis we have found out who our "friends" are!!  We have been lucky with our family - they have all been supportive. I put it down to lack of knowledge and pure ignorance of most people.

Good luck with your husband's journey and keep in touch - we are all in this together.

Brian.

Hi Woolly. It is so hurtful when this happens, I think many people are either afraid of saying the wrong thing or are just plain scared of the idea of cancer. I’ve got a friend who has PC, he’s on a different treatment line to me, we get together (usually over a cup of herbal tea  cos we’re both cutting down on caffeine!) and talk about cancer and all that goes with it In a way you couldn’t with anyone who has no experience of PC. Usually have a bit of a laugh about it all, it’s definitely helped me. 
Best wishes to you both. 
Daniel

Hi Daniel - I don't want to pinch this thread but just noticed you have updated your profile and it's surgery next week.

Just to wish you all the best with the surgery and recovery afterwards - I hope all goes well and all your worries are unfounded.

Best Wishes - Brian.

Thanks Brian. I really value and appreciate all the help and support I’ve had from you all. 
Hope all continues to go well for you.
Daniel

All the best for next week.