Yes, it's very common to have a lot of emotional stress throughout the waiting game but it should diminish after you get your treatment. We are all different and the emotion will be expressed in different ways. I spent a lot of time crying for no reason whilst waiting for appointments and the results of tests. My wife was very supportive and we got through it. It's important that your partner understands what is going on in your head and doesn't think the anger is directed at them.
If you are within travelling distance of a Maggie's Centre go and pay them a visit (preferably with your partner if possible). They are very used to dealing with the stress of cancer diagnosis and treatment paths and will be of great help. They also run regular relaxation and other classes which can be of great benefit.
I hope your surgery goes well and keep in touch on this forum as we are all here to help.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.
Everyone reacts differently to what you are about to go through with your upcoming surgery.
I approached my treatment (RT) with trepidation rather than anger, it is just a worrying time, will the op go well, what side effects will I encounter etc etc.
Seamus is right though , when u have had the op you will undoubtedly feel better and relieved that it's all over, or nearly all over, just recovery time to go thru.
So, just two weeks to go , wishing you well and let us know how u feel afterwards.
Hi Robert as the other guys say, everyone reacts differently to a cancer diagnosis and the response is usually a stress response. Profound irritability and rage are symptoms of a quite severe stress response.
The stress response response is physically the same, but the way you feel it and how you behave as a result is an individual thing. .
I'm afraid that having cancer is like climbing a mountain You see what you think is the summit and feel relief as you reach it. Then you realise, it was just a ridge and see another "summit". Then when you reach that there may be another, and so on.
Yes you will feel relieved as you reach your first goal, i.e. having the surgery, but realistically there will be other stress causing things after that.
You need some strategies for coping with this stress response to help you deal with each issue as it arises. The stress response is not only an unpleasant experience, it is physically dangerous leading to poor healing and increased risk of infection following surgery. This is not another reason for bein stressed, it's a reason for doing something about it.
One thing you can do to relieve stress is to find out as much as you can about the surgery and what will happen immediately after that and then in the weeks, months and even years after that. Then you will be better able to deal with things as they arise rather than being unprepared for them as they apparently "suddenly" appear.
Then you can also think about what strategies you can use to deal with each issue.
You don't have to do this all at once, but as each "stsge" arises, you could think about what the next stage might be.
It's always helpful to talk to other men who've gone through the same thing and see how thry dealt with things.
It would also be very useful to learn some stress relieving techniques. It's not usually something that people realise they can do, but like you can learn to drive your car, you can learn to control your anxiety and rage.
In 2 weeks, obviously you don't have much time to learn some techniques, but there are some simple, quick relaxation techniques you could learn. Talking to.others, asking about what they experienced and how they dealt with it may be another. Simply talking to someone about your fears will help.
Following surgery doing a "mindfullness" course is highly recommended and as a cancer sufferer, some charities offer hese for free.
It's true, if there's a Maggies centre near you, which would be great, but also, ad this is a Macmillan community, I can recommend Macmillan setvices. To find out more phone 0808 80 00 00.
You can also "Ask an expert" macmillan nurse about your surgery and what happens after on the Macmillan website or talk ti an expert nurse on the Prostate Cancer UK website.
YES you will feel some relief when the surgery is done, but realistically, that's not the end of it and you will need support and coping strategies to get through that, but also to deal with what happens after.
You need to be prepared. Don't just wait until things happen, because othetwise, it may be that things happen that you didn't expect.
I hope you find the actual surgery actually relatively untraumatic, I did. My worst memory of this was a terrible constant pain I got in my ribs and right shoulder for days after. It was worse at night and I didn't sleep despite morphine. It was worse since a) I didn't expect that and b) I didn't know what it was and c) didn't work out what to do about it.
It turned out it was due to the gas they'd pumped into my abdomen during the laparoscopic surgery. If they'd said to me, if you move around a lot it will help dissipate it, but they didn't. Just a simple thing!
Surgery happened so quickly for me so I didn't have time to dwell.
Take it easy, be kind to yourself and others. It took me a while to recover but my family were fantastic and made me realise how much I mean to them.
We are all different but take all the help that's available. Don't be embarrassed to ask questions I know I told my specialist nurse things I couldn't tell anyone else. It didn't change but certainly helped me by voicing concerns. Real or imaginary.
We may be on a similar path but the journey is personal. Hence our reactions are different
Hi! I had my Robo Op a few months ago. I still have the occasional verbal rage at the smallest of things. In part it's the thinking about the physical and emotional affects of the secondary stuff that comes after the Op.
Not everyone understands it in the family but sometimes u get embarrassed with my outburst as they are out of character.
The continued incontinence and ED problems are a big worry.
I wish you the best with all your treatment and want you to note that there will be good and bad days. To treat them as normal and enjoy the small/big improvements to come.
Hi Robert! I hope you don't mind me asking or if I missed it from an earlier post. How was the decision made for you to have an Open? What was your gleason scores/options etc?
Radiotherapy is also an option for some. But age, gleason scores etc are factors.
I had the Op after being told it was the best option.
