Worried Wife

Hi BoatmansLady. What an interesting handle that is!

Firstly welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place for support. Two things you need to do straight away are order the Prostate Toolkit from the Prostate Cancer UK website and then go away and enjoy your holiday. The information will be there when you get back.

Prostate Cancer is very slow growing and nothing much will change between now and when your husband gets his biopsy.

As you said, waiting for the results of tests is the worst part of this journey. There will be a lot of emotional upsets but you sound as though you are prepared for that and will work through them together.

Good luck with you journey and have a great holiday.

Hi,

Think each of us approach this situation differently - I was told my diagnosis in February, details in my profile, and we have tried carry on as normally as possibly since then albeit there have been loads of trips to hospital that we could have done without.

I didn't wait anything like 4 weeks after my biopsy, I had it done on 14 February and got the results on 21st February, started hormone treatment immediately and chemo about a month later.... all very quick.

My top tip is - if you have any questions for nurses, Dr's or consultants make sure you write them down before the appointment and make notes of the answers as you go - it is impossible to take everything in that they are saying during the meeting - we didn't do this earlier and myself and my wife came out of one consultation with a different opinion as to what was going to happen!

Regarding what you can do to support your husband, if he is like me he won't want you to fuss over him... just be there for him when needed, carry on as normal as best you can - still do whatever hobbies etc you both had before if at all possible. 

I like to have things to look forward to, however small - set these up and keep them noted in whatever system you have for keeping track of the hospital appointments so they are obvious when checking for upcoming appointments. One of these was a week away at a  thatched cottage in Shropshire after Cycle 2 of my chemo which was lovely.

No doubt you will get more suggestions from people on here, as you say we are a helpful friendly bunch :-)

Hope all goes well...

Kevin

Thank you for your speedy reply. I have duly ordered your recommendation, plus another on that I saw that I thought might be useful.

Thank you for your swift reply.

I have no intention of mollycoddling him. We find humour works as he was annoying the hell out of me and without thinking I said "that's another nail in your coffin" Deadpan faced he quipped back, "we will have no more of that language or you'll be dead" We both than collapsed in fits of giggles 

Having thing to look forward to seems a great idea and we do have a bigger goal as in 2021 we have a cruise booked from Rio de Janeiro to Barcelona, but smaller treats are a good idea.

Our mantra is normality is the way forward.

As for the results, we have found they tell you the worst wait for them, but so far they have been quicker.

Hello Boatmans Lady, sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis.

I had to wait 4 weeks at least for my biopsy result in 2015. 

I and a few others passed through the cracks at my centre and weren’t advised about pelvic floor exercises.

If he isn’t doing these already I would recommend he starts as soon as possible.

This will be a major benefit for him post surgery.

I would also endorse as much normality as possible.

We had a holiday in Cyprus before the operation. I had the pre med 3 days after returning and the operation 3 days after that.

All the best to you both,

Hi

My husband was diagnosed with Prostate cancer with spread to the bones (everywhere were the oncologists words) and seminal lymph nodes.  He had a PSA level of 1950.  He has had hormone therapy which recently stopped working, so is now still on the original hormone therapy monthly injections plus daily 4 tablets of Xtandi and has had 6 rounds of chemotherapy plus bone strengthening infusions. 

He is working 3 days a week as he gets fatigued very quickly but he is so positive. 

We also do the little and often treats and managed to get 11 days in Florida in May.  We as you say laugh a lot about silly things but are easy on ourselves if we have a down day or need a good cry, the down days are not on the same days so we support each other.  We also have a 21 year old son living with us so we try and support each other as a family and realise that we will have days where it is extremely difficult.   I also realise when he has over done it and say I am tired so he will rest. 

It is extremely difficult but you will find what works for you and your husband.  I would say don't be hard on yourself as supporting someone is not easy either.  I know they are having it happen to their bodies which is horrific but you are also on that journey. 

Ido4. Thank you for your reply. I hadn't heard or read anything about pre pelvic floor exercises, so I will find out which ones are recommended and suggest that he starts them in case he has to have a operation once the biospy results are back and funnily enough that is reassuring that the results can take up to 4 weeks.

Boatmans Lady, here is a link to the exercises.

https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information/living-with-prostate-cancer/pelvic-floor-muscle-exercises

Bubbles 1957. Thank you for your reply. It seems as though so far we are going along the right track to staying sane. He had what I would call a sniping episode and whilst most times I can cope I had just written his anniversary card for the next day and emotions were running high, so burst into tears. Once I could hold a rational conversation, I explained that it was affecting me too and it was a journey we were going on together and learning as we journeyed. Once he had heard me out, he replied that actually hearing me say those words was very reassuring as it just affirmed how much I cared and loved him and all was good then.

Ido 4. Thank you so much. 

I'm really glad I stumbled across this forum and bit the bullet to post. You are a fab welcoming bunch and so very helpful.