Dad diagnosed with prostate cancer

Sorry to read about your Dad. I have had surgery, hormone therapy and salvage radiotherapy. See my profile.

Given your Dad is stage 4 hormone therapy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy are the best combination of treatments he can have. The Stampede trial showed that up front chemotherapy alongside the other treatments improve outcomes.

None of the treatments are without side effects unfortunately but hopefully they will allow your Dad to be around for a long time to come.

With very best wishes,

Yes he has begun hormone therapy. Chemo commences in Sept and radiotherapy will follow.

Hi Milliondreams.

I'm so sorry that you and your Dad find yourselves in this situation. I'm a little bit ahead of you. Started hormone therapy in January, also with aggressive prostate cancer, but with no detected spread (doesn't mean there isn't any). The hormone therapy side effect that is most noticeable with me is fatigue, but I am used to it now and am generally able to manage my day accordingly. Some people get moobs, some people put on weight around the waist, nearly everyone seems to get genital shrinkage. I have now had 4 of my 6 proscribed sessions of chemotherapy (Docetaxel). Side effects of this for me have been much more challenging. It generally hits me hard from about 3 days in until about day 10, at which point I start to recover. My main side effects are consistently, exhaustion and difficulty relaxing and sleeping, due to the steroids that I believe are a standard part of this treatment. I have been lucky in that I don't get nausea or vomiting. My first chemo was the worst, as the dosage was too strong for me. Once it was reduced slightly things improved significantly. With too much Docetaxel however I had both diarrhoea and constipation, lots of sweats, and was totally knocked out. Everyone's biochemistry is different, and treating doctors need to arrive at an understanding of each individual in order to get the dosages right. I also requested a reduction in steroids, which once again helped me a lot. Another disturbing and very common side effect of the chemo are taste changes. Metal mouth some people call it. I have got used to these now (everything tastes to me like cardboard or sawdust for a while) and have learnt what I can eat during the first 10 days of each chemo cycle. I tend to opt for soups and 'soft' foods during this period, gradually working my way back to my normal diet as the effect of the chemo wears off. That is where I am with it all at the moment, but other people's experiences may be different. I'm a similar age to your Dad by the way. The good news in my case is that the hormone therapy has reduced my cancer symptoms considerably and has also brought my PSA score down from 38 to 0.9. Cancer is very definitely life changing, but as prostate cancer is now quite well understood it is not necessarily life limiting.

I'd like to wish you both the very best of luck. Ask lots of questions about everything. There are nearly always options and very often side effects to treatment can be remedied in some way. You can phone both Macmillan and ProstateUK for expert advice on anything or simply for the psychological support that we all need from time to time.

Very best wishes,

Jonathan.

Hello Milliondreams

I like the name, many people on here will have a million dreams, myself included.

Very sorry to hear about your dad's situation,  it's obviously an immensely difficult time for u both.

Do u know what his psa and Gleeson score is? I presume fairly high being a stage 4.

There is still hope though, hormone therapy should get the psa down followed by some chemo and RT.

Is he going to have a bone scan as this would show if it has metastasized to the  bones? Hopefully that's not the case.

Ok, it may not be curable but patients can live for many years just on hormone therapy plus u have the chemo and RT to add to the mix.

Hopefully others will post with their views.

With best wishes

Steve

Thanks so much 

Hello Milliondreams and welcome to the prostate Group.

I’m sorry to hear about your dad who is so young (relatively) at 63 and his cancer is aggressive.

I imagine you’re posting on here because you want some reassurance, information about what might happen and how you’re going to cope with it all.

You’ve already had some responses I see, which I hope you found helpful.  Perhaps a mite too detailed at one point!

I imagine the reason your dad’s  being given such an aggressive programme of treatment is partly because of his age, partly because of his aggressive cancer and partly because this combination has a good chance of getting his cancer under control.

It is a shock, I know from personal experience to be given a cancer diagnosis and must have been even more of a shock to hear that it has already spread to lymph nodes.

It might be helpful,  if you’ve not already had it to give you some information on”staging”.

This might put a different perspective on the information you’ve been given so far i.e. that his cancer is stage 4.

The staging from 1 to 4 is one staging system, the other is called the TNM staging system.  This system I believe will clarify what’s happening with your dad.

If you click here you will see that  the TNM staging system differentiates between cancer that has spread to lymph nodes and cancer that has metastasised.  You can perhaps see how this applies to your dad. 

I believe it’s metastatic cancer that is the most advanced, and does the most damage.

If you want some factual information about the treatments your dad has been prescribed then click here.

All the therapies that your dad’s going to have do have side effects.  It’s best to consider these as each therapy starts.  There are things that can be done to alleviate some of the side effects.  Macmillan has a lot of useful, understandable and factual information about these side effects and how to cope with them.  You can get a lot of them online or you can call in at a Macmillan Centre or phone 0808 80 00 00 or ask me!

Cancer does have wider consequences, if your dad’s still working it might have consequences on that, there might be financial consequences and there will be psychological consequences.  I mention all these not to burden you with worry, but to say lots information and support is available for any issue that arises as your dad starts his treatment.

 You will also need support  (your mum too?) and you’ve started getting it by coming on this site.

I am a position where I have met and will meet a lot of people with cancer.  Some of them have just been diagnosed and are fearful, some are starting or undergoing treatment and are finding ways to cope with it, some have completed treatment and have recovered and some are continuing treatment indefinitely.

The word “cure” is sometimes a word used by health professionals but I believe most people affected by cancer I know talk about living beyond cancer or some living with cancer.

The latter because there are many people still being affected by their cancer, but who are getting on with their lives despite this  because it is under control due to continuing treatment.

Thank you. One good thing is that dad isn't working and he is ok in terms of money. Enough to pay the bills anyway. 

I am concerned about my mum too. Not too sure what I can do to support her. 

Yes dr said because he is young and healthy basically they are going at it full force.

I am also sad because I have two young children who adore their grandad and I'm not sure how much they will be able to see him during chemo

Milliondreams.

I am sorry it is sad to be in these circumstances.

I presume that the restriction on contact with your children is due to the infection risk, possible reduced immunity because of the chemotherapy.

I think it worthwhile, if you've not already been advised about this, to ask the nurses about it.  There is some information on the Macmillan website that you might find useful  click here

It's not easy to know how to support someone close to you, your mum, when someone else close to you both, your dad, is affected by cancer.  It seems to happen sometimes that everyone feels they have to be "strong" for everyone else.  Nobody feels they know what to say.and you're afraid of upsettIng each other.

You do sound a fairly close family, so maybe it's best just to be yoursel as far as you can.  It's also natural to get upset, it's allowed!

You might find this information useful also click here

If you feel you need to talk through your worries with someone, talking can help, either all of you together, just  you and your mum or just you alone there should be opportunities for this local to you.  This may be a Macmillan Centre or a Maggies centre or other organisation.  You should be able to get more information about this on the Macmillan helpline 0808 80 00 00

Hi There well like your dad I was diagnosed with identical condition as your dad, aggresive advanced PC which had spread to the bones an the lynmph nodes. Well 3 years later I,m still here fighting it,I had chemo back in 2016 now on a drug called Abbereterone which seems to be working well my PSA has dropped from 198 down to 1.7 I,m telling you all this to let you know it,s not all doom an gloom, as hard as it may seem this can be halted with in my terms a Positive Mental Attitude I,m 10 years younger than your dad an as a help during his chemo keep some strong anti bacterial hand wash at his house an wash your hands time an time again to keep infections at a lowest risk possible I never suffered from them at all. You might find the kids will be his best type of medicine because i loved seeing my young son at the time of my chemo I hope this has helped you an if you have any questions feel free to ask me I dont mind answering any questions I,m not ashamed of my illness. Stay positive an strong ok. Regards Eddie.

Thank you Eddie. How well did the initial chemo work?