Husband has advanced prostrate cancer

Hello valletta66 

A warm welcome to the group, although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

I am so sorry to read your post - it sounds like your husbands consultant needs to work on his customer care skills. So

* Other possible treatments could be enzalutamide, abiraterone, other chemotherapy drugs, olaparib or even radium-223.

* If you add your husband's journey to date to his profile, it would help us to help you as we don't know his diagnosis and treatment he's already had. To do this on your home page click on the green chair - top right, then profile, the edit. once you have written something don't forget to save it. You can view a profile by clicking on a name or avatar.

* If you are unhappy with the consultant (clearly you are) you can ask for a "Second Opinion". On the NHs you need to do this through your GP. The other alternative is to pay for one privately.

I hope the above helps.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thanks Brian - i joined this group to read other people's journey's/issues and to 'vent' a little as i feel so hopeless.  The only reason we got to meet the consultant was because I complained to PALS (the patient liaison group at Southend/Basildon hospital).  We've never been given a 'plan' - just told to have chemo which ended last August and after that a blood test every 6-8 weeks.  Our local hospice do the outpatient care and have been amazing with pain relief and chasing the consultant! I will try and complete the profile for him. Thank you.

Hello valletta66 

We are here to listen, share what we know and to help where we can.

We are all in the same club and that gives us a "bond" with other group members.

You vent as much as you like - and please do ask questions, nothing is too trivial and we are all happy to help.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Valletta, sounds like your husband has not had a good experience at all. My partner has an excellent team and really helps to feel re assured. If I was you I will request all his records and approach another hospital / doctor for a second opinion. Christie's in Manchester or Marsden in London or Adenbrooks in Cambridge are great. You can pay privately to avoid waiting and it's not too expensive approx £ 200-300. Take care

Thank you - treatment seems a postcode lottery; my head is all over the place right now.  We'll talk it over.  Really appreciate the support from everyone on these pages - it makes me feel less alone.

Hello Valletta, I can’t give you any advice because my husband was treated with the intention to cure as no metastases were found. That said, I really know what it feels like to, as you describe, ‘have my head all over the place’. I was in a dreadful state when I first found this forum.

i just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain and anxiety and fear. I think all of us wives go through the mill alongside our husbands. We will all be here for you! I hope all goes well for you!

sending hugs x

Hi valletta66 ,

Firstly you are far from alone here and there is as many netizens here with horror stories about their consultants as good. I bet he’s busy but that’s no excuse for being slapdash to you and your hubby. But where is your SCN, specialist cancer nurse in all this. In my case, she is the most important link and chaser for me. I guess that is the weak link.

Mets are my problem and the odd CT and radiotherapy is the way to go (for me), you don’t say how the chemo went or what it was but my chemo was unhealthy for me. Most people get a big difference in the cancer which is checked back and you can then have a rest (like you’ve had) but your screaming and shouting needs to be more focused in the right direction.

SCN for all cancer treatments and relaying your hubbies condition.

Hospice for pain relief and advice and help.

GP for other problems (non-cancerous)

Clubs and agencies will help with form filling, talking groups, cake and tea moments and advice. Look herder for help.

Thats mostly for your OH. What about you? You need to have moments to relax. To talk to other normal people like yourself (nurses and hospital staff are magic but they’re not who you can blab and relax to. Talking therapies will help you both but although yo sound totally able to cope the frustrations inside will eat away at you a bring you down. So actively talk to family friends and seek out more professional help to help you so, you can help him.

Ask any question here, there’s nothing we won’t help you with if we can.

So lean on us and get the help you both need.

Take care

Good morning.

I am sorry to hear of the treatment you have read at the same hospitals that have helped me so much. 

Just to add to the others, you can receive guidance on how to complain and how to achieve a second opinion from Healthwatch Essex. 

Their contact details are here - healthwatchessex.org.uk/.../

Thank you for your comments.  I am glad I found this Forum and feel comforted by everyone's comments. I thought I was quite resilient but some days I struggle to deal with it.  

Thanks Mr U - unfortunately Southend hospital don't have an SCN for prostrate (although they do for some other cancers).  We have found the hospice the best people to talk too.  My husband's chemo last year was successful and his original PSA of around 700 went down to 1.