Diagnosis - I’m scared!

Scared, you will be of course but that’s the reason we (on the forum) are here on your shoulder, standing beside you or holding your hand.

We are all too scared to admit we are scared. You are the exception. And I’m glad you’ve had the strength to shout it out to us.

Lonely… yes, when it comes down to it we are all alone at times. The forum is one step away when we need a hug. I feel alone and my eyes don’t care who sees, but tears fall easily and steadily sometimes.

But there’s a lot of people around me all the time. My team that’s reviewing my scan data are on my side. The questions and blog I write allows me to feel the presence of others, strangers who care. So I’m never really alone unless I want to be — and I don’t want to be.

So Mr U is there beside you.

Reach out and you will find hands to hold on to. 

Thankyou so much for your kind words and reply. I have read your blog and I am already in awe at your strength. They have said dad has cells on his spine so I need to be on red flag alert for spinal cord compression and now after seeing your journey also petrified as to how I’d spot if he was having an embolism.
I think one of the biggest things I can do right now is face my fear and admit I’m scared, shout it out loud because my dad isn’t and won’t and I know deep down he is, he’s told me he’s worried for me and I sit there and think how can you still even think of me when you have this! But he is a parent and that is natural - he is worried his time has been cut short very quick and it’s time we need… even for us to say the things we need to nevermind sort out all the other matters that need to be dealt with in such a terrifying time.

I really want to thank you for your time in just even replying to me.. you did the other day too and it helps knowing that I can come on here and just blurt it out and feel just an inch of being less alone. None of my friends have ever gone through anything like this with themselves or their family and I wouldn’t even know where to begin in telling them! I’m going to really help my dad sign up on here so that he too has a few strangers to support him and hopefully help him feel a little less alone too.  

Hello Hope James35ef76 

Well, I am so sorry to read your post, that's not good news and the way it was delivered is shabby to say the least.

Nothing is set in stone, and there is lots of help available for you and dad. Sadly you may have to ask for it but by being proactive, the help you need is there. We as a group are here for you both so please do keep reaching out - we will do what we can to support you.

Your dad's team should allocate him a dedicated CNS (Cancer Nurser Specialist) and a Macmillan nurse although this does vary from NHS Trust to NHS Trust and these should be your main points of contact. Your dad's GP should also be able to point you in the direction of local palliative care.(this isn't just end of life care - it's a source of local support).

Our Support Line is there for you both on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) please do make use of this - it's a free call and they can help you both.

If you have a Maggie's near you please do call in. This is a cancer support charity where you can drop in for help and support here's a link - "Maggie's". Your local hospital should also have a Macmillan centre where support is available.

Telling you children isn't easy and here's a link to some information which I hope will help:

Talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children-and-teenagers

It is a lonely journey - unless you have cancer or you are a close relative it's hard to understand feelings and emotions - I can cry for England, so don't be ashamed.

I hope the above helps - if I can do anything else for you just let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.