Life after Da-Vinci robotic Surgery to remove prostate

Hi Lucy lou , having PCa and a major op are two big hits in a short time and not unexpectedly you say he is struggling.  Lots of us have been on this journey for years and we can help you both through this.  Try and stay positive and please keep in touch, your friends on here will keep you going.  David

Hello , my husband got tadilafil and a vacuum pump which works well - not to be too graphic but he uses 2 rings with it . Don’t let it go too long - 2 or three times a week even without sex to keep it healthy . It’s all good fun - use it or lose it  we got there in the end !

Thank you David for your reply.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but, how long after prostatectomy did your husband start using this? As you say, use it or lose it, so true,  as men can get penile atrophy just the same as women not using their vagina. Hope this is not too sensitive a subject for you to answer. 

All this is new to us, my husband had radical prostatectomy just over two weeks ago. At the moment, he is very distressed with urinary incontinence since having his catheter removed on Tuesday. Obviously, he would have to wait until his continence returns before thinking about any form of sex life.

If it happens, it's great, if not, his cancer has hopefully gone, and he is alive, it's not the " be all and end all". 

Thank you for your reply and reassurance.

Hello , such a frustrating time for you both . You have to be patient but it will get better . He got his pump from urology dept in September after having op in July. He wasn’t completely dry all the time until November but it was never very much and never at night for some reason . 
With the pump , it was a bit trial and error at first , he found taking tadalafil as and when needed - he found twice a week good . 
When you look back , it goes so quickly ,as I said you must be patient - it’s an awful lot to go through . Best wishes to you both

Hi Lucy lou, the forum is such a great way of finding answers to o es worries and it's so good to share the story,.

I started usi g tadafil as soon as the incontinence became less and I was confident that I wouldn't cause a big wee mess,   Trouble was they caused me headaches afterwards so I just use the pump with the rings and it does at least maintain the erection for a couple of minutes. Hope  

Hi - I had surgery just before Christmas. The process was pretty painless although the catheter made for a fairly downbeat New Years. 

I have been lucky with no incontinence but currently only have 50% or so erectile function. I am seeing a urologist who tells me that I should get erections back over time.

4 months down the line, with the exception of the ED, my life is totally back to normal, running, cycling, snowboarding and surfing. Everyone is different as is every procedure, it can feel scary but living with fear isn't really living. There are stages of grief and we have to go through them to reach acceptance. Your partner has some time to decide the right route for you both but you should prepare for all outcomes.  

I have no regrets in having surgery as I believe it was the best option for me. My sex life is currently different to what it was but it still exists and I am grateful for what I have.

Hi Aluna 

This all sounds quite positive, do you mind if I could I ask how old your husband is or was when he had the radical prostectomy and what was his gleeson scale & did they try and spare his nerves? 

Hi Lucy Lou, 

Thank you for your honest words, my hubby 49 has just been diagnosed with low grade prostate cancer contained in the prostate.  We have been advised that the best treatment is to have radical prostectomy. Could I ask how old your hubby is & what his grade was? Sorry if this is a delicate question,  we are trying to come to terms with the future .