Life after Da-Vinci robotic Surgery to remove prostate

 Bobblejes - No, just no.  The future is definitely not bleak. This has been caught super-early and all options should be on the table. All those options are aiming at a complete cure. Your surgeon was wrong to give you a definitive 20 year timeline to bladder and/or bowel cancer after radiotherapy.  That’s nonsense and should be challenged.  Maybe 40 years ago, the chances of this happening were 5-10% due to the “scattergun” nature of radiotherapy delivery but NOT today.  Latest statistics show less than 1% of this happening - if at all.  This is because radiotherapy today is computer guided based upon MRI and other scans during the planning phase.  It is accurately delivered by a LINAC machine costing £ 2.5 million. You need to discuss with your oncologist.  
I do, however, understand some of the drive to treat an otherwise healthy 49 year old with prostatectomy.  But it’s not because radiotherapy today”gives you other cancers further down the line”.   AW

Hello Bobblejes . Things may look bleak for you at the moment but your husband's cancer has been found at an early stage which means that he should be on a curative pathway. Discussing what side effects from the different types of treatment, and for how long, should help you to prioritise what is most important to you as a couple. Have a look at box 2 of the attached link and make sure that the experts give you all of the information they are supposed to, including ways for helping your husband with his penile health before, during and after treatment.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng131/chapter/Recommendations#localised-and-locally-advanced-prostate-cancer

Talking to other men and their partners might allay some of his fears which are quite normal. Help is available and we can help you with how to access groups and the helpline is available for individual support.

That's why we need to do more research & speak to more people 

Hello Bobblejes,

You say that the surgeon advised that nerve damage is less because of robotic surgery, so this would avoid any ED. (My highlighting)

I would certainly query that highlighted statement - it seems rather glib. I quote from The Cancer Research UK website:

"Radical prostatectomy can damage the nerves you need to get an erection. Nerve sparing surgery can help lower this risk. But not everyone is suitable for this type of surgery. Nerve sparing surgery means that your surgeon removes the cancer without cutting or damaging the nerves. But if your cancer is growing close to the nerves, they will have to remove them.

Some men will get back their ability to have erections. But this can take anything between 3 months to 3 years. And some men will need help to get an erection for the rest of their lives."

Other authoritative websites make very similar statements. 

You also need to consider focal therapy or brachytherapy.  A lot less invasive and fewer side effects.  You have time.  Don’t rush.  AW

This is a very good point.  When you get your second opinion(s) it would be interesting to see what they say about the things that this surgeon said.   AW

Remember, focal therapy might not give you a lifelong cure, but it can retain quality of life for many years by keeping the cancer in check.  Then you can hit it with harder cures (with associated side effects).  AW

Very important and fortunate that you are there with him to support and comfort him.take care of yourself too.

I had radiotherapy a year after surgery as there was some cells bouncing around in the prostate bed, I was hoping that it would clear it out once and for all ,which sadly is not the case. But the actual radiotherapy journey is quite painless and somewhat comforting with the expertise of the team and the laser scan is so precise at targeting the cells . 

Hi, did you say surgery is not possible after radiation, which is why you went for surgery.  It’s just I was advised it is possible but difficult, but in my view anything to do with surgery is difficult, hence that issue didn’t concern me plus the thought was the brachytherapy I had would work….