I've finally come to a conclusion....

Hi everyone,

I hope you are all well, or at least coping... I know it's difficult - I've been there.

I just want to place on line my story - it's not good, it's not beneficial to anyone, but it's mine!

I was divorced by my ex- wife about 40 years ago - I didn't argue or fight because the marriage had been over for at least two years. I was presented with her 'case' in court - I stole money from our account (I was the only contributor to the account); I didn't take her and our family of two boys on the holidays that she wanted; shThe cam the night e had to look after the family bills, etc from whatever I left in the account (I had previously agreed with her that I could have £200 per month to pay for the higher education that I was engaged on...). 

But, before this blew up, we had our second child - a son.. I wasn't allowed to visit her and 'my' son for three days. I questioned this several times and was assured that the child's father had been there for the birth... A big 'red flag'.

Things deteriorated from there - I wasn't good enough, she was too busy, I needed a new job to give her more money, etc 

I stayed, basically for my two sons. It was hard as she had no investment in 'a family' and only valued her second son. Then came the night when she left the home at 21:00 hrs, saying that she'd be home by 02:00 hrs - she arrived at 05:37hrs - I know because I was waiting for her. She said she had been waiting for a taxi, but there wasn't one available. That was the last lie! The next lie was that she'd been at an 'all- night' cafe talking with her 'friends' - no such place existed at that time!. 

I let it ride - I know I'm stupid, but who cares.

I walked out of "our" house shortly after - she divorced me for 'stealing her money' (I was the only contributor to the account) - I had been abusive (difficult when I hadn't spoken to her for months) and I had 'offered her violence' (this was based on her screaming at me " Hit me", "hit me" many times as I walked away from her - I did something then that I regret. I turned to her and said " You're not worth it!" A few days later, I walked away.

Then she 'hooked-up' with her long-term lover - My ex-friend Ian.

Now, she's dead from cancer, but the icing on the cake is that he died from a motorcycle accident... I'm just left with the regret that my youngest son was never mine, and the eldest died from pancreatic cancer - loving me, but hating his so-called mother. I just hope she appreciates the damage she did!!!

I'm now recovering from prostate cancer, but with very serious complications. My only son is dead from pancreatic cancer, my youngest son is 'living his life', My ex- wife is dead from cancer and my current partner does't give a damn about me. A perfect life - I no longer care !