Back again so soon!

Hello Zoey88 and glad to hear that your dad is perking up and I hope that the antibiotics work this time for good. My husband is going through a progression at the moment with newly developed bone and lymph node mets which have been confirmed by a PSMA PET scan. He has been put onto corticosteroids which we were told can have some anti cancer effect. In addition he is going to have targeted radiotherapy to a bone met which has been causing pain for which he has been given morphine patches. The next step is possibly low dose Docetaxel to keep things under control but other things are being investigated such as Lutetium 177,  Radium 223, immunotherapy and Olaparib (a PARP inhibitor). The hope is that he can come off the morphine when the bone mets are zapped. Hubby has already had 6 sessions of Docetaxel plus radical radiotherapy to the whole pelvic area, as well as SBRT radiotherapy to numerous lymph nodes and the adrenal glands. He is still on Prostap injections but stopped Bicalutamide when he had a recurrence. Enzalutamide then worked for an additional 18 months until another recurrence so chemotherapy followed but only held the cancer at bay for a few months. As you can see it is a rollercoaster but you have to stay positive. Our oncologist is still talking about medium term and I don't think they can give an accurate prognosis unless it is within the last few weeks of death. I can understand your dad not wanting to know as it kind of puts an expectation and full stop on the time left whereas it is better to live in hope as you tend to push yourself more to make the most of things. We are under no illusion that it is going to come to a point where nothing will work but in the meantime it is quality of life which matters. I hope that once your dad gets over the infections which can really make you feel ill, and the doctors can stabilise him then you can have some quality time together. This is a marathon, not a sprint. It is tiring both physically and mentally on everyone so learn to pace things and maybe ditch the unimportant.

Hello Zoey (Zoey88) 

Thank you for taking the time both to update dad's profile and to update us with the latest news. 

I can't add anything to the super post above apart from saying dad has a cracking team and they are doing everything for him. I think at the meeting on 19 February 2025 you need to stress from the start dad's not wanting a time line, he just wants to know how it's going and the plans for treatment.

Like dad I am a firm believer in not wanting a prognosis and I fail to see how the medical team can say xxx years.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Zoey88 very sorry to hear that the PSA is rising at such a rate.  I am sure the meeting on 19th will give you a better picture. I don’t think the medics give out life expectancy these days (I was given 5 years over 7 years ago), but it is probably worth stating that you don’t want to know at the start of the meeting.  The main questions I have always used are how can I achieve the best possible quality of life with the remaining time and what can I do to help myself.  There is no doubt that staying positive and keeping fit are two very helpful things an individual can do.

None of us know how long we have left (with or without cancer) so having cancer actually doesn’t change anything, but it tends to focus the mind on our own mortality.  Personally, I have found that a positive, we have simplified our affairs, moved to a much more manageable place for either of us to live in alone and made lots of lovely memories.  I guess what I am trying to say is that although cancer is a major factor in your dad’s thinking, it shouldn’t dominate his life.  

Hi Zoey88 

Im glad your dad is starting feeling better, the infections are being treated and he is able to stomach food without feeling sick. Like David2017 says it’s important to stay positive if you can. Try to stop focusing on the worse at this point . Concentrate on what you can do to prepare for what’s next. It was only week or so ago that dad couldn’t eat, could hardly walk, it’s probably fair to say the stress that he was feeling was affecting him and everyone around him. Now he’s made a turnaround and the added infection is being treated, he has had some investigation scans to find out if anything else is going on. This is a positive move forwards. It sounds like he has a good team around him and they will look at the scans and see what’s happening and form a plan of what’s next. One thing for sure is that he needs something to fight with . His body needs to be replenished with everything he’s lost in the last few months of chemo ands infections. He needs to eat well along side build up drinks. High protein snacks, wholefoods like nuts, pulses, add berries. Organic chicken, full fat Kefir yogurts . He also needs to get his body moving, wrap up and take a walk outside if he can. If his body “tank” is empty he will have nothing to fight with. He needs to fill it with the highest grade fuel as possible. He also needs a calm environment to allow himself to relax and sleep so his body can repair. Try not to worry about what’s next, worry won’t effect change, it will just drain resources. The experts will come up with a plan hopefully, maybe they will find something on the scan that they can target and mop up with RT, maybe they have a new drug to try to suppress it?  In the next couple of weeks concentrate on fuelling the dad tank, body and mind. Please let us know how he gets on with his scans. 
Lx