Husband diagnosed

Hi Enya52, I have been living with advanced matastic prostate cancer for just over 3 year's, others on the group have had it way longer than I.

The feelings you have described are quite normal for a newly diagnosed spouse. I'm no medic so can only offer option's baised on my experience, if you tap the avatar beside my name you can read my profile, but remember all patients are different.

Hi Enya52 .

A warm welcome from a wife who also has advanced metastatic prostate cancer diagnosed in July 2020. The hormone therapy your husband has been put on acts very quickly to reduce his testosterone which acts as food for the prostate cancer. This gives the medical team time to carry out the rest of the tests and then come up with a plan tailored to your husband's specific type of cancer. Don't get too hung up on the initial PSA numbers, what is important is how quickly it comes down and to what level after he has had after treatment.

Advanced prostate cancer is now very treatable with a whole battery of hormone therapies, radiotherapy and chemotherapy initially and after that there are further techniques available if necessary.

What you are feeling is normal. Your life has suddenly been turned upside down and you have fears for the future. Us wives tend to do the worrying, have the tears, but let me reassure you that things do settle down and you will go back to living a normal life, only punctuated by the regular tests that he will have to ensure it is kept under control.

The hormone therapy does come with some side effects, the main one being fatigue so make sure that he keeps as fit as possible as this really does help. Prostate Cancer UK have a whole range of very informative information sheets so as a starter I have attached a link but please come back with any questions, we are more than happy to help.

https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information-and-support/prostate-tests

I meant to say that my husband has the cancer, not me. 

I was wondering why you had prostate cancer, is there something you weren't telling us?

Enya52,I know just how you feel, my husband is 73 and was diagnosed just a couple of weeks before my 70 Birthday. 

He has started triple treatment and had his first chemo Tuesday, he is a very active man and is still doing things, hopefully it will stay that way.

I'm terrified of losing him and he is pragmatic about it all.

Take care.

Hi, Irish terrier, hope you have read Allwayshope post, I'm sure it will help, there's always a silver lining.

Kor. You were quick picking that one up Ulls . It's normally the other way round with the men showing their feminine side thanks to the hormone therapy.

For those new to the group, we can have a real banter on here and it helps if you have a sense of humour.

No problem, your a full female I'm only partially female, emotionally.

Hello Enya52 

Another warm welcome to the online Prostate Cancer Community - again I am so sorry to find you here but we are a decent bunch and it's a cracking place for help and information.

Enya52 said:

he is being so calm?

We blokes are a strange lot and we tend to ignore most things unless they directly affect our way of life - he's a normal bloke just dealing with something that's out of his hands - don't worry!!

As long as he's got a positive attitude and he's trying to keep as fit as possible he's doing all he should do at the moment.

If I can do anything at all for you please let me know.

Remember our support line is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 if you need that little bit of extra help and support.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello Enya - and welcome from a wife who absolutely fell apart when her husband was diagnosed! I’m sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis and your very natural emotional turbulence right now! I’m sure I could have filled a reservoir with my tears in those early months!,,

My husband’s reaction was to completely withdraw within himself. He wouldn’t talk to anybody - not even the doctors and prostate cancer nurses. It was almost as if he was in some sort of complete denial!  This left me feeling very lonely at the time and that’s how I came to find this forum. From my own experience and from the replies you have already received, I know you will get heaps of support and as much info as you need on this unexpected journey you are embarking on:)

I found that I needed to know anything and everything about prostate cancer and its treatment! This helped me feel a bit of control when my whole world seemed to be skittering out of control. Always Hope has given you a good starting link.

One thing to note, though. Now that your husband has been diagnosed any close male relatives of his will be considered at higher risk and should get their PSAs tested from age 40 -45 onwards. This includes brothers and sons Because of the high incidence of breast cancer before the age of 50 and prostate cancer in my husbands family, we have had genetic screening. Our adult children are now permitted mammograms (daughters) and PSA testing every year (sons) as a result,

I do hope things settle down for you both. Prostate cancer really is a couple’s illness and what we found was that, despite the fear, we actually fought it together and it has brought us much closer than at any time in our 50 years of marriage. I hope you find the same! :) xxx