Hello everyone
I’ve posted in the group before when my father in law was diagnosed last year-surgery done and dusted- but I’ve got another question, just not about him this time!
This time it’s my ex, and I have very limited information as he feels he shouldn’t be bothering me with this sort of stuff. He has messaged me today and I’m sure is trying to play things down but I thought I’d ask for your thoughts. He is 61 and he did confirm he’s had a prostate biopsy. I assume this might be some time ago, but due to my own issues with various things in the last year and having had cancer myself he’s kept things to himself. He hasn’t actually said to me he has prostate cancer.
What he did say was that he had the biopsy, it was contained, and his psa was 8. No action required, but blood tests every 3 months and if the number reaches 10 he’ll need to go and see about it.
Does this sound right? I know plenty about my own cancer but nothing much about the prostate! Using the word “contained” suggests to me that yes, he has cancer, but it has not gone beyond the gland. I am hearing some things secondhand from my daughters and they used the words “borderline cancer”. To me it either is or it isn’t but I wonder if he is trying not to worry them since I’ve had my cancer to deal with?
I’d appreciate, once again, some guidance/thoughts please. Many thanks.
Sarah xx (community champ in the cervical cancer group)
Hello Sarah
There is a thread somewhere that describes the Community Members on the Prostate Forum as "my flock". I did let it slip that Mrs Millibob was walking past me on the laptop, noticed the green colour and asked "You tending to your flock" and it's stuck.
They are a great bunch though and a fantastic help in making life as a Community Champion quite easy on here - we have the odd digression from the Community Guidelines and I have been called either "The Macmillan Police" or "Woke" but hey - ho!! 
.
So the next installment in you Prostate Cancer education is "How Prostate Cancer is Diagnosed" and the link is here.
https://shop.prostatecanceruk.org/our-publications/all-publications/how-prostate-cancer-is-diagnosed
Let's hope you don't need this one!!
Kind Regards - Brian. xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
I can noweddiel as it happens!
I was due to have one the day after a pulmonary embolism, but obviously that was impossible due to the risk.
But since that time I’ve had 4 different types of surgery ranging from minor to major and had general anaesthetics for all of them. Very glad I was able to.
Sarah xx
I have seen reference to your “flock” Brian, and it’s a rather nice way of describing the group!
It’s a very active group, which I noticed before on my visit, and it certainly has shown me once again today that members are very kind in offering their experience and knowledge so quickly and willingly to the uninitiated!
As I mentioned, I found the guide on your link very informative and will continue with the next instalment! I have admitted on my own profile that I buried my head in the sand prior to my diagnosis and thus made life more difficult for myself. I expect my ex husband might be similar and it might be useful for me to have some information that I can share with him to enable him to ask questions at least and clarify things.
I may or may not have a need to return, but appreciate the help I’ve received today from everyone. Many thanks for being such a supportive group.
Sarah xx
I think it’s incredible that you can manage pain well through the techniques you’ve learned, and to be even thinking of undergoing any surgery without an anaesthetic. I even had a general for a biopsy!
I had an epidural in addition to my general anaesthetic for my most major surgery, but it unfortunately failed and leaked out so I was glad I wasn’t relying on that!
My father in law also has issues with his heart which made some treatment options not available-for example chemotherapy. He was cleared to have his prostate and bladder removal but it came with major risks. He was due to have a large hernia repaired during his surgery but stopped breathing on the operating table so that part of the op had to be curtailed without being finished. He’s now been told he needs surgery on his heart this year, but his recovery so far from the bladder and prostate removal has been difficult, so we are not sure whether he will be strong enough to cope with the heart surgery. It seems one thing is resolved and something else comes up!
Sarah xx
