Palliative care pathway

My father was - I think it would have been easier to hear about them earlier being told one was for when he became agitated also broke my heart BUT it was never used

Is your Dad still living with his cancer or did he pass naturally? Im so sorry to ask such sensitive questions. I don’t know if they’re expecting him to go soon or it’s just because we want him to be at home not in hospice. Thank you so much ️

My father passed but not directly related to his cancer - he did need district nurse out once to give him a pain killing injection as he wasn’t coping well with oral liquid 

My father never knew how seriously ill he was and I thankful the consultant agreed to that.

he was also given trial medicine that kept him pain free and we expected him to continue on that for many months but things changed very quickly 

Thank you so much ch for replying and I apologise if this has brought up sad memories 

We don’t want to know hubbys prognosis as we are taking each day we have and making the most of life. 
I guess I was just heartbroken when I read what ‘ Just in case’ injections are for. Thank you so much again ️

I can say that my father had many great months after the “just incase” were in the house

Thank you sooooo much. That has put our mind at ease. Because we asked not to know hubbys prognosis and today the nurse dropped these on us I was devastated. I will sleep tonight thanks to you. Xx

Hi mistymoon1, I do hope you don't mind me dropping in on your conversation, just in case meds were given to my friend during the last few days before she passed, so that she was comfortable and they worked very well, she had asked that her family were not informed just how poorly she was.

She was miss diagnosis with an ear infection causing dizziness, actually she had primary lung cancer which had spread to her brain.

I know the feelings of losing a loved one is horrendous, but take comfort in knowing she was not in pain 

Hello Mistymoon, I’m so saddened by your situation and realise the ‘just in case’ drugs must have come as a tremendous shock for you both.  I had a very very dear friend who was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and was given just 4 weeks to live when he received his diagnosis. The just in case drugs were delivered. He made all his funeral arrangements and set his paperwork etc in order.

four weeks passed and he didn’t die as we had all been told to expect!

he carried on for a further 7 weeks - getting slowly weaker but still seeing his wide circle of friends and family.

suddenly, one Saturday, he became unwell with a nasty cough. His daughters managed to get a gp to visit and antibiotics for a chest infection were prescribed. But…he couldn’t swallow them. He was so distressed that he asked for help to  end it all but we could not do that. The next day ( Sunday) he was even more distressed , if possible. It was heartbreaking to watch. Now, we live in the middle of nowhere and getting a gp to call, even then in pre covid days, was darn near impossible. A palliative care nurse came, saw his distress and used the just in case drugs which brought a considerable amount or relief to our friend. It also brought all of us a relief to see his struggles cease as he was able to relax. The palliative care team visited , I think, two more times and administered the necessary drugs to keep him comfortable. He slipped peacefully away from us on the Monday.  

like you, I was alarmed by the arrival of the drugs but I was so grateful for them when they were needed. Selfishly, I wanted my friend to go on for ever for us. However, he was ready to go and was struggling so much. The drugs eased his passing. If those drugs had not been there for that last 24 hours he would still have died but his death would have been one of mental and physical anguish. None of us would have wished that for someone we all loved so dearly.

none of us want to lose those people who are so very very dear to us . My friends last illness and the waiting for the inevitable was horrible. But… if telling you what we went through at the end with him helps you in some small way it makes some sense of such a tough experience for us all.

I hope you don’t have to use those drugs for a long, long while and that you both enjoy lots of quality time together and make some wonderful memories. Put the drugs to the back of your mind but know that they are there if and when you need to use them. 

love and hugsx

Hi Ulls 

Thank you for your reply . I asked Doctor why they were left and she said as hubby has been in a lot of pain if another nurse/ doctor came they have drugs at hand to administer to relieve pain. She said it’s there ‘ just in case’ he gets bad pain again

Thankfully his meds were reviewed and he has had 3 pain free days where we have been out shopping together and having some fun for a change. 
Big love xx

Hi worried wife, thank you for your lovely response

I was in bits when the meds arrived but because hubby had been in severe pain the doctor said they are there if he’s in pain during the night and any nurse doctor could give them to help the pain. 

Thankfully his meds were reviewed and since they were we’ve had pain free days and some time out together which has been lovely 

I hate this awful disease but together we are stronger 

Big love xxx