Hi - this is my first time posting. My beloved partner was diagnosed with Advanced Stage Four Prostate Cancer last March. It’s very rare for it to be diagnosed at the stage it was. He has multiple bone metastases in his spine, rib cage, thoracic cavity and his right shoulder blade as well as in his pelvis and lymph nodes. So far the Zoladex injection is preventing it from spreading further, but we have been told his care is Palliative, he can’t be cured and is likely to be life limiting. My post isn’t about treatment. I will try to explain as best as I can. My partner is always positive and emphasis is on keeping him being him as long as possible and not giving in to it. I myself am trying to be positive too to support him. But just recently I am finding myself getting overwhelmed, feeling low as I want him to be with me forever, but I know it can’t be. I have found myself getting frustrated with him which isn’t like me usually- especially as he doesn’t take in what the oncologist tells him and I need to reexplain things. And he sometimes forgets to take important medication for a week at a time. We don’t live together so I can’t always be there to remind him. I’m usually very patient as I love him so much and would move heaven and earth to cure him if I could. Until last weekend I hadn’t cried about it in front of him. But last weekend the flood gates opened and we both cried together. But now I feel guilty and selfish as I’m not the one who has cancer. He is. Is it normal for partners to feel like this? Is it ok to share my feelings with my partner? On the plus side, we have lots of things planned to look forward to and we have the approach that it lives with us and not the other way around. I’m being told by friends and colleagues that I need to take time for myself too. But I love him so much, that I find that hard to do as I’m quite fixated on thinking about nice things to do that he will like.
