This is the first time I have talked to anyone about my pancreatic cancer since a "Whipple" 2 years ago. I'm a 57 year old male who has no relatives and I'm quite isolated. I have never used computers much and have just got this phone a couple of months ago so I am in a "catch-22 ",an eternal circle which seems to have no end. For the last 40+years I was most often anethatised in heroin addiction until 2020 when the drug squad broke down my door and I swallowed £800 worth of heroin to stop the cops from getting it!. I woke up from a coma 2weeks later chained up in hospital (it was covid and i got put into hospital in custody)and they told me there was a problem with my pancreas. I received 5years in prison for drug supply charges where I started chemotherapy. Then after a year I had a Whipple operation which was quite an experience while being chained to a bed with only a prison guard to speak to for over a month! Then I received another year of chemotherapy which was literally "hell in a cell" as I was very ill and never left my cell for many months. I've now moved onto an open prison and am at the tail end of the sentence. I'm on a "home leave "from prison (ha! I have no home) in a hostel as I go back to jail tomorrow but I'm due (hopefully) for release in a couple of weeks. I had been given an appointment for my third scan for the cancers return but that is a job in itself! After years of addiction I have no veins left so needed to have a "pick-line "inserted for the scan then go, chained up for the scan then have the line removed and back to prison but my scan in June was cancelled. Trying to get through the prison beaurocracy is another test for the soul as nobody knows what the hell is going on! But this is a trifle compared to the future,I had a nice house with everything but lost the lot on going to prison so facing a future of cancr and homelessness with nobody and nothing is quite daunting. Some of you might be thinking "you do the crime you do the time"or "he got what he deserved "and that's fair enough but for the last 25years I'd been consuming £150 worth of heroin daily and could've been threatened with execution but would STILL have done it so that's not the point. I could've used drugs in jail as its awash with drugs but have chosen not to and I've even come off the methadone and have been clean for nearly 4years now. I came into prison weighing 6 1/2 stone, bright yellow with hepatitis C and a total mess, now I want to leave as fit and healthy as possible without an addiction. The problem is that there's zero support. My partner and 2 previous girlfriends are dead from overdoses, I have no family and all my friends where addicts or worked in the drug trade so its quute frightening. To be honest I've thought about trying to stay in jail because at least I can access treatment for the cancer but I have to face it sooner or later. I can only apologise for going on but this is the first chance I've had to say anything as in prison you just don't mention health problems to anyone in jail and ive never had a visit or even letter from anyone. I think isolation is the worst enemy, dealing with cancer with even one person to talk to would've so much easier. The prison and staff, the hospitals and everyone has tried their best but there's no help within the system.
