Is ascites the beginning of the end

I am not sure I want to know at the moment but I remember messaging you Squeaky when my mum was first diagnosed at the end of 2016/Jan 2017 and your husband was poorly. I hope you have been coping ok without him.

My mum had the whipple in Feb 2017 and has been battling with recurrence ever since. She also had radiation over a period of 10 days but now the cancer is back with a vengeance. She has been hospitalised with blood clots in both lungs and a massive clot in the portal vein to the liver. She has ascites too. They have managed to get the drain in today and filled a bag up immediately. She is now on her second bag.

I am really struggling as I don't get paid for time off and I also have 3 sons to take care of (ages 7, 9 and 10). My sister is getting married in 25 days time and I know my mum won't be well enough at all to go now. We are all extremely close and it is an awful time, as you unfortunately know :-(

I think I just want to know whether she will get out of hospital. It breaks my heart to think she will be stuck there until the end.

my real hope is that she could go home and live a few more months comfortably at home.

I always had her 70th birthday as a target, which is the beginning of Feb. Now my heart is breaking thinking she may not even be here for my sister's wedding or xmas etc.

I haven't slept or eaten properly and am just fearing the worst.

I know how lucky we are to have had her almost 3 years since diagnosis but it has been such a difficult path and it doesn't make it any easier for me right now.

x

Hiya

I am soooo sorry that we are both in this horrible boat.

I can't imagine how it feels being your partner as it is bad enough being my mum and I have the support of my husband and children to help me cope.

My mum has her ascites drain put in today and she filled a bag up straight away and she is now on the second bag.

She is sleepy and uncomfortable. I just don't know how long we have left with her. She has blood clots in both lungs and a massive clot in the portal vein to the liver, where the reoccurrence is. She had the whipple op in Feb 2017 but unfortunately it didn't cure her. 

My mum's fear was that she wouldn't get out of the hospital and I am beginning to think that she is right.

I spent last night torturing myself, crying, googling things and haven't eaten. It is just awful. I need to try and pull myself together as I have 3 sons aged 7, 9 and 10 and I need to be able to look after them.

Thinking of you and your partner :-(

x

Hi Michelle

Sorry I didn’t recognise you. I can well understand how you feel.

My experience with ascites and my husband was that he got great relief when it was drained but the swelling came back very quickly. 

Of course your Mum is the most important person in this and her choice of where she wants to be is key. My experience was that the hospital was able to make my husband comfortable in a way he would not have been at home and it let me be a wife rather than a carer. You need to keep your strength up for your children.

i am thinking of you.

Sqeaky

Hi Needing friends

Sorry to hear your latest news. All cancers are awful but PC is particularly vile.

sending you good wishes

Squeaky

My dad was diagnosed with locally advanced pancreatic cancer back in June, he presented with jaundice and a pot belly , he had a stent fitted which relieved his jaundice, however when I mention to the doctor about him having his ascites drained I was told it was not necessary at the time and came with complications. That immediately made dad against the idea... some 3 months later after taking water pills and me hassling for a drain to be performed, I bypassed the oncology ward and went through the GP . Dad was seen the next day in the outpatient ward and after 6 hours lying in a hospital bed he eventually had 14.9 litres drained from his stomach. 
this was just one issue in a very long list in regards to how shocking the medical care and support has been for my dad... 

but I have been on top of things for some time now and will keep pushing and fighting to do my best to provide him with a good quality of life.

If anyone here has been trying to contact 'Needing Friends' then she wants you to know that she cannot access the site just now. If anyone has a query about ascites please contact me here or in a message and I will try to help.