Emotional heartbreak

Hi Minnessa 

Just dropping by to let you know that even when you cannot speak you have been heard. My wife's cancer is very different but I totally get what you type. Indeed I have cried as I typed in the past and have also cried when trying to talk to the staff on the helpline here though perhaps my favorite place for crying was the shower.

When we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of the things that happened to me. I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me to see those emotions as normal and that can help give me more control over me. The plus in that being I have a bit more energy to help those I love - my wife and son. You might like to have a look at some of the stories in our Family and friends forum because there are a whole load of people over there just like us. 

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hello, thankyou for your kind responce it means a lot,I think this whole life shattering diagnosis has happened within a month. It turns your life upside down and emotionaly it has been shattering. its just about time and I absolutley see the benifits in what your saying. I want to get to that place where stress and distress are not so overwhelming Im just not in that place , Im in that space where Im so absorbed with upset and stress I cant imagine letting go. I know inside my soul that with time I will find that balance Im just not there yet. I absolutley believe in what you have said and its a goal I really am striving for because  liike you I really understand its a healthier place to be.

Hi Minessa I absolutely understand your pain and how your whole world has collapsed. My best friend my brother when diagnosed- we had never heard of Pan C. It was unknown to us and in shock we were totally numb. We had no intention of a submission to the diagnosis. My brave bro deciding to fight it whenever with whatever. He had great days, good days and ok days with not SO good days. We sought out all info had lots of advice and took it a day at a time. A year from his diagnosis he was still well enough to drive out, socialise, going to his dance classes. He was not as strong but always had a positive thought that he would carry on regardless of the diagnosis. A brave strong man and his Creon tablets were a great help. Some days he just wanted to flop,  but what was important was keeping him pain free. Positive in thought. We took a lot on board for 'his digestion and dietary needs, and lot of the time all he req was paracetamol to ease back ache.

The symptoms came slowly. In what I have read on experences of others here since reading. No one knows how each person will develop the symptoms, or how debilitating they can come, this awful cancer, but my bro had 20 good months. Only in his latter 6 weeks did he feel so tired to walk about. His legs filling with fluid. I cried alone, but stayed positive with him, and encouraged him to live with this, in the best way I could. My own children were another focus to keep me up on my feet. I guess my bro and I wouldnt accept any thing but positive thoughts.

I'm glad you have your daughter with you. I hope you have as long a time with your dear husband as possible. 

I 

Thankyou for your kind reply and your story. Its comforting to know that other people understand the pain you feel, and find time to reply. I am so very sorry to hear about your brother. You were just an amazing sister and I can tell by your story that you shared such a close bond. Im just struggling because it has all happened so quickly in relation to his diagnosis, yet his symptoms  had been troubling him for some time.It was only when he had a dramatic weight loss that we had the investigations and then diagnosis. Sometimes it feels overwhelming but the kindness of people like you who find time to reply and talk about your experience is really heartwarming and really helps,so thankyou

You can't control it. You must let it wash over you. Drown you. Gasp for breaths of air and resurface. Gradually. The pain will never end. I am sorry for your loss