There is hope! :-)

Hi everyone,

I'm Max and I wanted to share my experience with pancreatic cancer. 

In 2018, my Mum began to get sick. She experienced stomach cramps and feelings of indigestion, but did not really think anything of it. She went about her daily life and just accepted these symptoms as a part of getting older, or that maybe she'd drank a bit too much wine. One morning, I had just returned home from uni for a long weekend, she came downstairs and she was bright yellow, the most jaundiced person I had ever seen. We asked her if she felt okay to which she said yes. I study medicine, so I know that "painless jaundice" is bad news. She went to the GP who told her that it might be gall stones or a gall bladder infection, however it might be pancreatic cancer. Naturally we brushed this off as "that wouldn't happen to us". As the weeks progressed, ultrasound after ultrasound and endoscopy/colonoscopy, the diagnosis became more and more apparent.

It was the end of November, I was on the other side of the country at uni and I got a call from Mum saying that the CT scan showed that she has pancreatic cancer. I remember that being the worst moment of my life, you never really know how to react, what to do. I remember not really knowing what to say, and therefore saying nothing. I told her I loved her of course, and sat on my tiny bed in my little box room and cried. I didn't tell anyone, as I barely knew these people, and promptly returned home. I knew the prognosis, and I was terrified. A few weeks later she was taken into hospital for a Whipple's procedure, which for those who may not know is a very invasive surgery in which the lower part of stomach (the duodenum), part of the pancreas and a section of the bowel are removed and stitched back together. The surgery was to take around 6-8 hours. This took place on the 21st of December 2018. We got the call that afternoon being told that she was in ICU, she was okay and that we'd be able to see her very shortly. We rushed into hospital and saw her, she had tubes coming out of everywhere, but much like my Mum, she had a big smile on her face when we walked in, which was perhaps more upsetting than seeing her so ill. She stayed in hospital for 10 days, through her 60th birthday (sorry Mum) and Christmas, but thankfully home for NYE. Spending Christmas in the high dependency unit is not an experience I would like to repeat, but it is strange how you can find happiness in even the saddest of things. Much to our relief, the surgery was a success and the surgeon Mr. Liao, was confident that he had managed to get all of the tumour. This was the first piece of good news we had received in Months. 

A few days into the new year, Mum and Dad went to the appointment with the consultant oncologist to discuss the biopsy results and find out more about what we're dealing with. Bad news. This tumour is nasty, and very aggressive... F***!. Now she needed chemo, three months worth of FOLFIRINOX, which as the oncologist said was "pretty brutal", which was naturally music to our ears. It's interesting to be faced with this kind of problem as an 18 year old son. You've just celebrated Christmas in hospital with your Mum following a very intense surgery, and now she has to have chemo which even the oncologist is wincing at, double F***!. Thankfully there was a 2-3 month gap between the surgery and the chemo, in which time Mum and Dad went on many holidays, and tried to forget about all the nasty things going on. 

Mum started chemo in March 2019. She was able to attend every single appointment bar one, which the whole team commended her for. The chemo was brutal, she was dropped off at the MacMillan centre Monday morning, and then picked up 3pm with a little balloon attached to her belt which fed chemo into her portacath (an implant in her chest which fed chemo into her major blood vessels), which she returned on the Friday, she would then have to inject herself in the abdomen once a day for the following week and then start it all over again on the Monday. As far as I remember, her side-effects included: nausea, headaches, fatigue and hair loss. She never complained once, and she got a free wig from the NHS which matched her natural hair style perfectly, no one would have known. She finished her course of Chemo in July, at which point I must admit she did look frail, and she was able to ring the bell and head home. 

A week or so later she had the post treatment CT scan, and was given the first ALL CLEAR. I must be honest, I didn't anticipate this, I did not know what to do with myself, we all just sat and cried together. Definitely a core memory.

As the months passed she had scan after scan, ALL CLEAR. This was 5 years ago, and she is hoping to get the official ALL CLEAR next month. A day I honestly never thought would come. I accepted my Mum wouldn't see me get my degree, or see many things I wanted her to, but now that is looking very hopeful. 

While googling for information can feel helpful and can even be addictive, don't look at the prognoses, and don't look at the negatives. Find the positives and have hope, because my Mum is alive thanks to the amazing doctors and nurses that helped her, and therefore there is hope for everyone diagnosed with this horrible condition.

I hope this helps, and please ask any questions and I will do my best to answer.

Max :-)