This isn't fair

Hello Millybengs

I am sorry to read about your mum. Being so far away from her must be very difficult for both of you especially in these covid times although modern technology helps us to 'see' those loved ones with whom personal contact is impossible

Emotions obviously run high and it is difficult to know how to deal with such bad news. There is no right or wrong way to know how to feel everyone is different.

I was diagnosed with pc about 2 years ago and i well remember my first visit to the cancer clinic. The waiting area was packed and i realised for the first time that i was not alone. Cancer has no respect of either gender or age. When i received my diagnosis like most people i searched the internet for more information. What a depressing picture was painted and i vowed not to look at it again but get my information from the experts face to face who after all deal with cancer matters every day. 

The level of support i received was brilliant and it was stressed that if i had any concerns to contact the surgical team , the oncologists and my allocated cancer nurses whenever i felt the need. Nothing would be too much trouble and neither would any enquiry be treated as trivial. During my treatment i overheard so many patients who had problems being unwilling to contact the experts because they thought they were being a nuisance or they didn't consider there problem important enough. 

I am sorry that your mum's experience so far appears not to have been very satisfactory. I do hope her meeting with the oncologist will restore her faith.

It may sound obvious but it does help to talk. I am not sure if the Maggies centres are open during covid but it may be worth looking for your mum's local centre as they are excellent in offering support and guidance.

I was given a poor prognosis following surgery but the chemo which finished a year ago seems to have worked. There is always hope and do remember that you are never alone on this forum.

Best Wishes to you all

Kevin

Hi Kevin, 

Thank you for your reply and suggestions. I'll look into the Maggies centres.

We're all just taking each day and stage as it comes now but it's horrible with her in so much pain at the moment, but I will push for her to reach out for more support when she needs it rather than suffering in silence, as you have kindly advised.

The waiting around, not knowing is almost the worst part of all this. We're just biding our time until the next appointment.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is a comforting reminder that everyone is different and there is hope.

Every best wish to you x

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. I don't really know if this will help or not but my mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 1st April this year. She was told over the phone. This was after multiple trips to the doctors for about 4 months before her final diagnosis. (She was previously told the pain was a pulled muscle or just indigestion.) We later found out the cancer has also spread to her liver. She is 58 years old.

I know it is different but I understand the feelings you have described. I also cannot believe the utter unfairness of it all. My mum is a very healthy person who always exercises and eats really healthily. She hasn't ever smoked and doesn't drink heavily. Her diagnosis just didn't make any sense and it still doesn't. She is a good person and has never done anything wrong and, a few years off of retirement, this happens. Along with the unfairness and sadness, I also feel incredibly angry a lot of the time.

My mum has undergone one round of chemo which worked initially but unfortunately then stopped working. She is now just starting a different form of chemo. We are hoping this will shrink the tumours enough so she can then have nanoknife treatment. It is a lot of waiting and not knowing which is incredibly difficult.

I guess I'm just writing to say I understand how you are feeling even though I know our situations are different. I think you are right to try and remain logical when you can and get all the facts together. I try to stay positive as much as possible even though this is very hard and I know I can't be positive all the time. I know this probably wont help much but just thought I would share too so you (hopefully) don't feel quite as alone.

Thanks.