Where to begin?

Hello Tupah,

I thought I was reading my own profile for a minute, I was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in March, I'm having 12 rounds of chemo I'll be having my 9th on Thursday, the 1st round put me in hospital thought that was the end, but here I am in October, CRY: some days that's all I seem to do especially after treatment, so don't beat yourself up about it, and yes I gave up I thought what's the point in carrying on, but you do, it's human nature to want to live, so take each day as it comes I promise it will get easier, 

there are many hurdles in life, this will be your biggest but you will jump it

xx

Thank you for reply Devon, just what I needed to read. It's weird how we think we're reacting wrong when the whole world is telling you you're a positive person and a fighter.. And I'm like... No I'm not! I am reassured reading this but I do hope that you are improving and that you will be bright and better soon.

That's all I want again.. And this pandemic to do one as well. 

Thanks again. 

Tupah xx

Glad it helped, yes at the moment i'm  pretty good, living the dream

take care

xx

Hi tupah

i too am having chemotherapy every fortnight, I am about to have no , 5 then they will scan to see how the tumour is doing and whether they can put me forward for an operation,

I have read the post from Devon Cat and I could not agree more , I went through the toughest time physically for the first 2 chemo and was admitted into hospital both times ,

my specialist has made some adjustments and I still suffer with the physical symptoms, nausea, bowels ect but they are manageable now ( may I ask what chemo you are on ? I wonder if it is the same as me as with mine it’s the last bag they put on that is the horrible one then I go home with a pump attached of it ).

your emotions are totally ok , I had this recently going from shouting and being very rude to my family ( yes while crying) to the point I was exhausted, I was a fit healthy person my diagnosis was very fast , I became poorly and within 2 days I was in hospital and diagnosed, my head was spinning , 

speak to your team / specialist they can do things to help, your emotions are totally normal allow yourself to have them and know that they will pass and you will smile .

Hi Crackerlakin

Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing your experience. I am keeping everything crossed for a shrinkage of the growth so that the operation can take place

You were admitted twice to hospital? That's horrendous! Was it nausea or more of an adverse reaction? 

I have spoken to the team and adjusted the meds but it's still not perfect. I am eating crackers and biscuits when I can. I taking two types of antisickness drugs and hoping for the best.

I will see my oncologist on Tuesday so I hope they can help me out with nailing this. 

I am on Folfirinox. During my first chemo I threw up during  the irinoteican, It was evil. Yes I had to go home with the pump too. 

Sounds like no matter what adjustments they make, there will some side effects regardless. I miss my old appetite and feeling relatively healthy. 

How many sessions do you have left? I have 5 more. 

Do let me know how you get on. I have stopped crying my eyes out now and getting some counselling thanks to macmillan! 

Take care. Sending you lots of love and strength with no side effects. 

Lots of love 

Tupah x