Keep feeling so emotionally low

Hi Jo

Good to hear from you.

I think you are very courageous in sharing your thoughts during this very difficult time for you and your  husband. We all have differing emotions in dealing with cancer but keeping busy dealing with paperwork for example and putting affairs in order helped me in as much that I knew a lot of pressure would be lifted from my other half's shoulders.

It is impossible to clear ones mind completely from cancer but although my whipples and chemo was almost a year ago and I am feeling very well I am fully aware that things may take a turn for the worse in the future. However I and my wife take each day as it comes and if we are faced with problems later on we decided a long time ago that we would deal with matters head on and put our faith in the wonderful medical team that have looked after us so well in the past.

I can fully understand your frustrations and concerns but please do not feel annoyed with yourself. We have been able to cope reasonably well by having things to look forward to whether it be a birthday , christmas or even a short break away , covid permitting. 

Living with cancer is not easy and I think it is difficult for non sufferers to appreciate how it does dominate your life despite our best efforts to put it to the back of our minds. 

This forum has helped me tremendously. At the very beginning I innocently thought it was just me who had a problem but talking to people on this forum it made me realise I was not alone and never will be alone. I firmly believe that 'talking; does help and I hope that sharing your thoughts will make this difficult time a bit easier

I hope the new chemo goes well and is successful

Kind Regards

Kevin

Hi there Kevin,

Thank you so much for your email and words of support.

It does help so very much and is so very much appreciated.

Take care and best wishes to you and your wife.

Kind Regards,

Jo

Hi Jo, I'm so sorry you're going through this, my mum is in a very similar boat - unfortunately not a candidate for whipple, but I can see that same anxiety and fear starting to reach her as you describe. You shouldn't berate yourself for not coping better (easier said than done) because you are coping exactly how you should be coping. If you follow Deborah James (Bowel Babe) she is very refreshing on how much her cancer scares her, some days she feels in control and strong, other days scared - but we build this image that cancer sufferers are almost like fearsome warriors who are always courageous. And yeah you are warriors but you are also complicated humans with complicated emotions and you can both be strong and scared. For your husband is he having any counselling? My dad has counselling through Macmillian and it's really helping him, I have psychotherapy and CBT to try and manage my fear. And for my mum she's found visualisation really helpful. Let yourself feel what you're feeling and let go of any ideas on what you should be feeling - all feelings are valid. 

Hi there,

Thank you so much for your email, it has given me much comfort to know that I should not beat myself up about the whirlwind of emotions I am experiencing right now. I am so sorry that your Mum is not able to have a whipple and hope that there is a treatment out there that will help her. 

My husband has shied away from counselling and after 40 years together I know not to push it! We do talk about things and try to support one another as best we can. 

My first chemo is under my belt and its just a case of once again getting used to the side effects! 

Sending you all positive thoughts and stay safe,

Jo