Shell shocked

Hi I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and can understand how frightening it is at first - I was in the same state 2 months ago.  My husband is 55 and has an inoperable pancreatic tumour and is having chemo at the moment. I had absolutely no experience of any of this, didnt know if he was going to drop dead any minute, but in the end I found the nurses at the Pancreatic Cancer UK charity helpline - you can ask them anything you like.  Once we got over the shock and accepted that what will be will be, we were calmer mentally. We struggled to get pain under control at first but now he has a perfect slow-release morphine dose, and the chemo side effects are not too bad so he's not in pain and doing a lot of DIY. I would not have expected 2 months ago that we would have gone to chemo this morning, then had a lovely pub lunch with a friend!  In terms of caring for him: I am trying  to resist being a martyr as that is not what he wants. So I'm still living my life while he is happy to live day by day, I do not stress him about the little things any more, and we are treasuring every moment. Thanks to this forum and to a friends & family support group, I am less frightened about the future.  I'm sure others on this forum will give you good advice too.