Starving to Death

Hello Jash

I am sorry to hear about your Dad. I can’t offer medical advice but I know it’s fairly common that people with PC do not wish to eat. I worried a lot about this in my husband’s case and I know others on here did too. In the end I only stressed him and myself.

You say your Dad is chatty, content and cheerful so it seems that he is accepting what is happening and he is actually enjoying quality of life but not in the same way as before.

Do you have assistance looking after him and keeping him hydrated?

It is difficult to see him like thus, I know.

Squeaky

Hi there, I understand how you feel. My partner was exactly the same. I can only echo what Squeaky  has said, trying too hard to get them to eat will only stress you both. In the end I had to accept just accept my partner knew what he wanted. I told his doctor he was starving to death but she told me his body would have difficulty processing food anyway.Apparently  when you have the flu, you don't want to eat. Cancer gives the body  a similar endocrinal  upset which makes them not want to eat. 

Sorry for the jumbled response but I hope it has relieved you of some of the responsibility you feel when someone won't eat. I stressed for so long with this problem x

Hi there, I can identify with everything you say. The not eating is so upsetting and I understand how you must feel. I can only echo everything Squeaky has said. Try not to stress and take your lead from your Dad. How long he can go on for probably no one can say,my partner seemed to go on for a lot longer than I thought possible considering he didn't eat more than a mouthful. I am so glad your Dad is content and cheerful, he's a special man. Wishing you all good things . PAM x

HI jash

sorry to hear about your dad but he seems in good spirits. I have experienced the appetite problem myself and fully sympathise.

I won't add anything more but to endorse the replies from Squeaky and Needing Friends

Best Wishes

Kevin

Hi everyone.  Thank you for your replies its good to know that this is normal for PC.  I was lead to believe before all this started that PC was the worst to get, the most painful and a very short time left after diagnosis.  In my dads case this is not true.  Sadly my husband passed away 8 years ago at the age of 53 and me at 44.  He had bowel cancer which was incurable and he had 2.5 years from diagnosis but with treatment.  In my eyes what he dealt with over that period of time was much worse than what my dad has and a lot more painful but maybe this was the chemo and it spreading everywhere by the end.  Its horrible seeing my dad now fade away but I am struggling with going through the experience again. 

 He is totally accepting with what is happening and just says "well this is how we expected it to progress".  He is keeping hydrated and drinking tea, coffee, squash and lucozade although only sips.  It has been up and down and we thought we were going to lose him when he got terribly constipated (3 weeks worth!!!)  but once that was sorted he has bounced back.  I think it might have been all the toxins in his body.  

selfishly I'm just finding it hard putting life on hold without knowing when something might happen.  My mum is a saint and is caring for my dad so well with bed baths, drinks and entertainment.  I live about 30 mins away and try to pop over every other day but will step this up when necessary.  My 2 siblings live in Australia and both have been fortunate enough to come over an visit over the last few months, but then they return home and are just carrying on with their lives with partners and family.  I cant go anywhere or make any appointments without explaining that I might have to cancel if my dad takes a turn for the worse.  i feel guilty leaving what care my dad needs to my mum but I sometimes just want to run away from it all but feel really selfish and guilty having these thoughts.    I also know that looking after mum is going to come down to me too.  My sister even said that mum can't go and visit her as she would have to get a bed for her and she would be bored as my sister has her own life to lead!!!!!

I feel I have just started to move on from losing my husband and the children are just becoming independent but  I'm going to have to now take into consideration my mum with everything I plan.  She is 80 in November. 

Sorry gone on a ramble and of track but had to get it all off my chest.  

Hi there, just to say my partner didn't have pain, only discomfort so  hope your Dad also remains pain-free. Its not impossible xx

Hi Jash

i understand how you feel both about your Dad and how you will have to support your Mum in due course. And the loss of your husband too. I had to support my mother because siblings had their own lives to lead.

As Needing Friend says some people with PC don’t have pain. Your dad seems reconciled to what is happening and you and your Mum are doing a great job.

It is OK to rant here! We all understand.

Please let us know how you are all getting on.

Squeaky