Its so sad!

Hi Jash,

Firstly I just want to say how sorry I am, that you are having to go through this, I've experienced it myself and it is one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life, and it is not sad for those who are suffering as they are no longer in pain, it is sad for the ones left behind.

I hope that you will take some comfort in my story, and although our experiences may differ I hope that I may be able to offer you a little perspective on things, as I can appreciate that right now it must feel that everything is all going on at once, and it is hard to comprehend it all.

I lost my Grandma to PC, in July after her diagnosis in June, like your father, she didn't want any chemo either, and just bravely accepted it. During her last few days she was admitted into the hospice, I was quite daunted by this when I first went to see her, however the staff and nurses were so kind and compassionate.

It is normal not to want to eat, and only having little bits, however maybe you could try and give him a little bit of water, or his favourite drink, we gave my Grandma barley water. With regards to him asking why don't you just suggest he has a little bit of something he likes? Jelly perhaps? that's what my Grandma had.

I can't say what it will be like when the inevitable happens, (Sorry even as I type that I find myself recoiling, as it is not a nice thing to prepare for), however everyone is different, but for now be there for your dad, remind him of happy memories, maybe talk to him about his childhood, or show him old family photos, and make the best of the time.

In my Grandma's final days and hours we played her favourite music, and although it was so extremely hard, we didn't get upset, as they can still hear you, the hearing is one of the last things to go.

I know what you are feeling though, if you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to message me, always here to listen hun.

**hugs**

Hope

Hello Jash

I am sorry to hear your news. Hope has summed up well the experience of pancreatic cancer.

i just wanted to say that the tablets your dad has which are to do with the enzymes are most likely Creon. The purpose of them is to help with digestion, particularly fatty foods. On their own they have no effect.

As Hope says maybe trying to offer him food that he likes might help. But losing an appetite with PS is very common. Just try to make sure he stays hydrated.

Some people don’t have pain with PC.

Squeaky

Thanks Squeaky and Hopeisallaround for replying.  As I said I'm not really sure why I re joined but I find it quite thereaputic to write some stuff down.

I volunteered at my local hospice after my husband passed away so I know they are the best place to be when the time is right.  I just find it so sad to watch him fade away and there is nothing any of us can do.  My mum has been feeding him on whatever he wanted for the last 5 weeks but he has had to force it down for the last week or so and has decided that he doesn't want to do that anymore but is still having the drinks.   I totally understand when he asks what is the point as really there isn't much point. He is still drinking at the moment and I have said to keep hydrated.  The Macmillan nurse is coming to introduce herself tomorrow and explain what will happen.  I've been through it and I'm not upset just so sad....

I am lucky, I have had my dad for 52 years, my boys only had theirs for 15.  I have so many memories with him and we have been forturnate to travel together to far off lands over the last few year.  It will be a short illness which is a blessing in disguise.  He didn't want to lose his mind or the use of his body so he has no regrets.  He has had a great life and has been sucessful.  I accept what is happening and I'm grateful that he is not in pain.  Hopefully it will continue like this and should it get ugly it will only be for a short time.   I just want him comfortable.  But in the end its just very sad.

sorry for the rambling.....

Hi Jash,  sorry to hear that your dad is not well.  My husband has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 3 at present but a delay in treatment, due to jaundice, is delaying his chemo.  My husband is 59 and we have a daughter she is 15 years old.  Being a nurse I know how the end could be and I pray that he doesn't suffer. I cry for my daughter who may lose her father at a tender age.  You are in my thoughts and I wish you and your family well on this journey xx

Hi Carli,

I'm so sorry to read about your situation and life is sometimes so cruel.   My husband was 53 when he died and our twin boys were 15 years.  That was 8.5 years ago and somehow I have survived as have our boys.  Its been difficult at times but mostly we have been able to remember their dad with a smile and wonderful memories.  Key times are the hardest and I try to make those days extra special.

I hope that you are able to make many more memories with your husband and daughter.  If you would like to chat further either message me or continue on this thread.  Sending you love and warm wishes.

Jacqui 

Hi Jash

What you have written here is beautiful about your Dad and I’m so pleased that you have had good times.

I got really stressed about my husband not eating and I realise I probably stressed him too. It is incredibly sad to watch people just fade and to feel so helpless.

i hope all goes well with the Macmillan nurse visit.

Squeaky

Hi jash, I lost my partner to pancreatic cancer on Christmas eve. He too didn't eat for many months, we were referred to dieticians and I became frustrated that I didn't feel the doctors were actually acknowledging the fact that he really wasn't eating. The truth for Ken was that he just couldn't eat and there was nothing we could do to change this. If it is any comfort he didn't experience pain, only discomfort. My humble advice is to accept that he can't eat, I spent months trying to encourage him. I sometimes wish doctors would be more candid and just tell us this is a normal part of the disease. I hope  this has helped a little x

Hi Jacqui..I was wondering how your dad is? We received the devastating news that my husband's pancreatic cancer is very aggressive and has spread to his lungs ...our daughter, who is 15 , doesn't know this. I feel my heart will brake

 How will I come with losing my husband,  my friend a soul mate and how can i protect my daughter from this hurt?

Hi there,I wish you didn't have to be posting here. keep as strong as you can. You are going through an a truly awful time, if anyone can give you support and understanding it's the people on this forum. I have had so much help, I can't thank them enough. We are thinking of you xx