This is so unbearable!

Hi there, I'm sorry I haven't any advice but I, like you wish someone would sit down with me and tell me exactly what is happening and how long it's going to go on for. You are right, it's so hard. Was asked once if we had any questions, but that was in front of my partner. I want  a discussion  alone, then I  can decide what we can tell him if he asks. Thinking of you, pam x

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. When I was 39, my dad received a diagnosis of terminal cancer, no treatment was offered as the cancer had spread to a few different organs. Like your dad's situation it was very sudden and a bolt out of the blue. He had been looking unwell for some time, went to the GP, was fast tracked to the hospital, had scans and was called back within 48 hours for the awful news to be given.   The day after his diagnosis he began to get his affairs in order, including giving away some of his possessions to me which was extremely upsetting. He ended up in hospital after a UTI developed into pneumonia. This happened very quickly. Before the Macmillan nurses could arrange a transfer home  he passed away.   Do you have support from the Macmillan Nurses? They are fantastic and I'm sure they could provide advice to you. You could either contact your dad's consultant's secretary or his named cancer nurse at the hospital (if he has one) and ask for assistance in terms of someone providing advice to you from Macmillan, or from another source. They usually have a Macmillan pod at the hospital you (or your dad in this case) attended.   I hope you get the help you need. x

Hello Daddiesyoungest

I am very sorry to hear of your Dad’s diagnosis and the situation you and your family are in. 

Your frustration at not knowing timescales is very understandable. I’m certainly not medically qualified but my husband died of pancreatic cancer and I’ve been around these forums for a while. The real issue is that time limits with cancer are not predictable and things can vary from day to day with a person feeling a bit better or worse.

You might find it helpful to ring the nurses on Pancreatic Cancer UK. You’ll easily find the website.

In the meantime, my advice is to try to take one day at a time. Be led by what your Dad wants to do.

Squeaky

Hiya I'm sorry to hear your going through it too... Its such a lonely situation isn't it.. I forget there are tonnes of people going through the same... I totally agree would love to just sit with someone and them say exactly what is to be expected! The doctor visits every week and always asks if there are any questions but of course mum doesn't want to blurt out so how long! Dad has asked if he will be in pain and so on and they settled him saying they will do everything in there power to make it as smooth sailing as possible.. Mum has access to morphine that he can have every hour if needed so that's a relief... The unknown is the worst thing to cope with

Wishing you well with your husband

Hiya.. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad... Such a terrible thing to witness isn't it  yeah dad has carers come everyday a nurse and doctor every week... But we havnt had anything to do with macmillan yet... As dad is home it's very hard to do things on the sly as he's very good at ear wiggling.. He thinks were talking about him all the time and ofter gets his wires crossed with what's been said so we try our best not too which is hard... Mum went to visit there doctor last week and had a chat with her.. It didn't really answer any questions.. Suppose we just have to take a day at a time and try and ride this horrible storm... I might think about going to some sort of support group I think I will enquire

I hope your coping as best you can with the loss of your dad.. I'll be needing tips on that soon enough

Thankyou for your kind words and help xx

So sorry to hear about your dad have you asked your Gp to do a referral to the Pallative nurses and also your local hospice as they can give your dad and your family the support you need sending you strength xxx