so it happened today, my brave and wonderful and lovely Grandma earned her angels wings this afternoon, she was surrounded by her family and it was so peaceful, I really don’t know how to feel right now.
I’m so sorry sweetheart but please take comfort that it was peaceful and that she was loved. I know it’s hard but you will get through. Much love to you xx
Im sorry to hear your news but as Kate says take comfort that all was peaceful. Kate is very wise and her advice that you will get through it is just right. There are forums on here for bereaved family and friends . They may be helpful. However, if you want to stay here with folks you know and maybe help others along the way you are welcome to do so.
Thank you for your kind words, I was with her right until the very end holding her hand gether with my mum, dad and brother it was so peaceful, she just stopped breathing and went to sleep. I just feel so strange now like I don't know what to do, I've never seen someone die before, I'm not traumatised by it or anything, it's just I don't know what to do with myself, I'm relieved that she's no longer in pain, and I've not really cried yet, a lot (just little tears here and there), It's so weird to explain, I wondered around my house last night aimlessly just with no idea what I'm meant to be doing.
I think bereavement hits us at a number of levels. First of all, there is the great sadness of losing someone you love and realising that you will not see them again. Then there are old routines that now go missing such as visiting your Grandma. Then, in your case the intense routine of caring for your Grandma these past few weeks. You go from being with her lots to her not being there.
It is good that your Grandma just peacefully stopped breathing.
Go with the flow over the next few days. I have found that if I keep busy when I have lost someone it’s easier to cope. You might find that too.
Thank you for your words which are incredibly helpful, I'm at work now, but I've run out of things to do, I've done it all in a bid to keep my mind occupied, and now it's all done I have nothing left to do, my mind is wondering, but yet no tears. Everyone grieves in different ways I know, and maybe it will hit me later on. I was listening to Coldplay earlier on and I love the words to everglow, the lyrics are so beautiful and comforting.
oh they say people come, say people go this particular diamond was extra special and though you might be gone, and the world may not know still I see you, celestial
like a lion you ran, a goddess you rolled like an eagle you circled, in perfect purple so how come things move on, how come cars don’t slow when it feels like the end of my world when I should but I can’t let you go?
but when I’m cold, cold oh when I’m cold, cold there’s a light that you give me when I’m in shadow there’s a feeling you give me, an everglow
like brothers in blood, sisters who ride and we swore on that night we’d be friends til we die but the changing of winds, and the way waters flow life as short as the falling of snow and now I’m gonna miss you I know
but when I’m cold, cold in water rolled, salt I know that you’re with me and the way you will show and you’re with me wherever I go and you give me this feeling this everglow
oh- I I I I what I wouldn’t give for just a moment to hold yeah I live for this feeling this everglow
so if you love someone, you should let them know oh the light that you left me will everglow
ALWAYS remember how brave you were supporting your dear Grandma in her hour of need. It sapped you of most of your strength but you soldiered on with an unfathomable bounty of true love. I've been privileged to read your posts.
TAKE CARE. Geoff x
At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.
Dear Hope, I do empathise and having read the responses of Squeaky, Splodge and Geoff et al, I have little to offer really - except to say that everything you/we experience is just a part of being complex humans.
Everything is therefore ok... In my family some of us have gone madly busy afterwards - occupying themselves to push other things out (me and Mum), others have gone on long walks where Dad used to go or spent time looking through masses of old photo albums that he didn't want us to get out in the last weeks of his life, others have used the normal routines of the day, children etc to find some balance and calm.
Your Grandma's passing sound truly beautiful and the memory of that - replayed, when it is, in one's mind - will no doubt help you tocontoniue to love her in all her forms... right to the very end of her life... something to cherish as you adapt.
