Late night ramblings

Hi again Lady P. I meant to say. There's Irish blood in you. I know how strong they are. My lovely mother had a collapsed lung 15yrs ago. She just gave 1 big cough. Then ping! She could hardly breathe. But she stayed calm & rang the ambulance herself. I went with her. I was shaking i was so scared. She had 2 major ops in 2 days. Gave her 10% survival rate. But she bloody got through it. She was 68 at the time. Had still been nursing a week before it happened. I said to her. Maybe it was all that mince over the years that had Kept her in good condition. She lived another 15yrs though. So the Irish have strong spirits. My mum's side of the family live in Belfast. My uncle was having an afternoon siesta in his pants, when a robber broke in. He shouted at my uncle Patrick. 'Where's the drugs' (imagine a Northern Irish accent). We haven't got any my unc said. Try next door! in a very calm voice. I joked with my mum they only immodium in the house. But i suppose because of all the years with the troubles, they're very calm & matter of fact. I just think it's funny he was in his pants!

Anyway. Like i said before. You're a strong, witty woman. Keep laughing. It's great therapy. I have to laugh. I love people with a great sense of humour. So did my mum. Good luck x

Ha! That’s a very good story about the burglar! It reminded me of an incident at my Parents’ house decades ago. My mum and her sister were sitting in the kitchen chatting and drinking tea when my father ran in in his underpants, shouting ‘Fire’ and some other stuff which they couldn’t make out. Mum and aunt were scandalised by my father’s immodest dress and mum kept saying, ‘Dan! For god’s sake, put your trousers on!’ 

My father leapt back up the stairs, not, as it turned out to get dressed but to search for my younger brother through thick smoke. He wasn’t there thoughthe fire had started in his room.

The upshot of all this was that the fire was so bad, my parents and brother had to move out for months for smoke damage repairs. They lost a lot of belongings, fortunately not their lives. My mother always denied her initial reaction but this would have been very typical of her! 

Pepys xx

Hi Lady P. Not 'Donald where's your trousers'? But Dan where's your trousers. I'm only half Irish. My dad was fully English. But i love the Irish sense of humour. My mum used to love Father Ted. I used to like it too. Southern Irish accent's my favourite. The Welsh accent too. Soft & romantic. Anyway awful about the fire. Good job your dad did come running in, even if it made his sister in law blush! He saved lives that day! Hope he got some new trousers!!! Good to hear from you Lady P. I feel you've had a 'colourful life'. Keep it up. X

And the funny thing is, my dad and brother hadn’t spoken to each other for months, even though they lived in the same hous...not even ‘pass the salt.’ I disliked my brother then and I dislike him now. Families, eh? 

Pepys xx

Desr Kate,

I have been thinking about you and unsure whether to post on this thread or not. You can be sure I intend no disrespect. I know how busy you must be too and that you have concerns about some members of your family. Let us hope they behave themselves and your mum gets the send-off she deserves. I assume someone has spoken to your niece? 

I so wanted my father to have a decent send-off too. It was, but there were people there (freeloaders, as my oldest brother referred to them) haphazardly invited by one of my younger brothers. They had never met my father and I was a little annoyed by their arrival, especially when they came to thank

Me for the ‘lovely time’ they’d had. My older brother, who is my rock, told me to keep calm (well I am anyway), that my dad would have laughed. 

I really want everything to go perfectly for you, Kate. 

Pepys xx

Oh Kate, I’ve only just realised your mum has died (I missed some posts and have just reread the whole thread). I’m so sorry. However she sounded like she carried herself through this vile disease with grace and good humour and I hope she gets a great send-off with fond memories and not too many tears. And I hope your family jolly well behaves themselves! Take care of yourself.

Barcelona really tired me out but it was worth it. I’ve now caught up with all your stories and they have given me a gee up. Such a lovely thread. I’ve been feeling rather blue but don’t want to dwell on that. 

Loved your picture a couple of pages back, Pepys. And my husband is South Walian (a proper Valleys boy) and was sent to a Welsh-speaking school by his non-Welsh speaking parents which proved quite a boon when he was plotting escapades with his mates as a youth!

Dear Lady Pepys, Squeaky, kiwiwolf and all other lovely friends (please don’t take offence not to be named I value all of your friendship so much)

Thank you all so much for your lovely words. This forum has been a lifesaver to me since the day my mum was diagnosed. I value the support and advice so much. 

I genuinely feel absolutely fine right now. I wonder if I have already grieved for my mum or maybe it will strike me down at a later date but at the moment I’m ok. 

I’m so pleased my mum got the end she wanted she was so strong and had absolutely no fear of death. Her attitude was how can you get to 73 and had such a wonderful life and have regrets on your death bed. I believe she chose to have a stroke after she was told the cancer would take her soon. 

One of my favourite memories is sleeping in a Masai mud hut with her giggling after a little too much brandy imagining what her friends at home would make of it all. We did that many times. She lived and made every day count. 

Her funeral is Friday and I am determined she will get a good send off. I went to the graveyard today and was delighted to find she will be buried in the middle of some fabulous life long friends. I’m a little disappointed as she changed her mind last month about being cremated as I was going to take her ashes back to Tanzania and scatter them on safari by a hippo pool that we used to have breakfast by but as her friends want to have a memorial service there I’m sure I will still go back. I suppose even with her wanderlust there is still no place like home. 

My niece is a dreadful worry to the whole family apart from her mother who is adamant that she is included in everything. I have warned everyone from the vicar to the pub landlord that the first hint of trouble to call the police as it would just finish my poor dad. Yesterday my sister and niece went to raid my mums wardrobe for something to wear to the funeral, have they no shame? Again I am keeping it zipped as is my other sister. The day will come but not now.

I wish you all, my lovely friends much peace and happiness wherever you are on your own journey. Whether you are living with cancer, surviving it, supporting a loved one or grieving one, we are here for a good time not a long time so please dear friends make it count xx

Hey Lady P. We seem to sometimes feel pressured into liking our families. As they say. You can choose your friends. Not your family!! 

I had an emotional Friday. It would have been my lovely mum's birthday today. I felt very low Thursday night. It was about 3am. My brother lives in the States. I'm so glad they're 6hrs behind us. Because it was 9pm for them. I texted him i felt very low. He answered about half an hr later. Luckily i had my bereavement counselling group session today. I took a cake in. We all had tea & Victoria Sponge. We all bonded even more. It was quite special. I was so glad to have not been alone. My mum & i were always together for birthdays. ALWAYS. Then i went for a drink with another woman from the group. She's very emotional over her mother's death. But it's nice to just sit with someone & let it all out. It's definitely comforting that you're not the only one going on this awful journey of grief. 

Anyway. I remember you were having some more Chemo sessions. I really hope it does it's job!!! Good luck. X

Hello everyone

It’s a very foggy morning here on the Firth of Forth. I can hear a ship coming in sounding its horn. My brother and sister in law have been with me for a few days and my bil has done lots of little jobs in the house. We also got some new fish for the pond which is very cheering.

How is everyone getting on? Kate, how did your Mum’s funeral go? I liked all your stories about her.

Squeaky

Morning squeaky and all 

Your bil sounds like a useful person to have around I could do with borrowing him. 

Yesterday was as perfect as these things can be. The sun was shining and we gave her a proper send off. The service was beautiful and very personal for my mum it was lovely that the vicar has been a friend for 40 years so knew her. Even my niece managed to behave herself and didn’t stay at the pub for too long afterwards so once she left we could all relax. 

I must admit that I seriously over indulged with the red wine and I’m paying the price this morning. I think my mum would let me off that one. I’m very at peace with it all now. I miss my mum so much and always will but I’m so grateful that she was my mum and is no longer in pain. Her legacy is me and my sisters and we owe it to her to live happy fulfilled lives. 

Enjoy whatever you are all doing today every day is a gift xx