My 80 year old mother has just been diagnosed at A&E yesterday. Pancreatic cancer that has probably spread (discharge notes say
Likely Pancreatic malignancy with Liver and Adrenal mets
i feel so sick and ill and frightened. In 2018 my dad died from prostate cancer and ever since then I’ve been slightly obsessed with someone else in my family dying of cancer. last year I decided I would retire early (in September of this year) and one main reason was to spend more time with my mum, who is probably my best (only) friend
this will sound like a selfish post where I’m thinking about myself and not my mum, but I am devastated. I can’t believe it, especially this cancer what looks like stage 4 (she has a meeting with a team on Tuesday) With my Dad we had 4.5 years, lots of time to go on holidays together, but this cancer is so so much worse. It’s like my worst nightmare has come true. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. She is the family glue, the person I hear all the family news through, she motivates me, she can lift my mood with a text or phone call, she’s everything.
And at the same time as these selfish thoughts about what I’m going to do without her, I feel unable to pull myself together to keep positive or strong for her.
