What the end looks like..

Hello Savona

I am sorry to hear about your dad and it is great that you are taking care of him. I'm not medically qualified in any way but I have been around this forum for a while now.

It seems that time between not eating and the end of life can be very variable. I think that you are doing all the right things. Don't worry if he doesn't want to eat as this will stress both you and your dad. But try to offer him something tasty from time to time and also see if he will take some water or juice.

I found the best way was just to take one day at a time. Just do as your dad wants to do .

Chatting on here can help.

Squeaky

Hello Savona

My name is Lisa and my Mum is 84 and now formally diagnosed - we are awaiting a pallative care nurse but the symptoms you have described are exactly the same as Mum.  I am so sorry for what you are going through and I am feeling totally lost as I don't know what to do are say.  My problem is that Mum has also been diagnosed with Dementia and really is becoming confused - some might say this might be a good thing - I honestly don't know.

May I congratulate you on the news of your pregnancy and please stay strong for your family - having said that I can only imagine the turmoil you are going through.

For me reading your post has already helped me as I don't feel alone - more importantly I am beginning to understand the symptoms more - especially the non eating, hiccups and soiling - this is just a terrible thing for anyone to endure.

With my best wishes to you, your father and family.

Lisa

Hello Lisa! 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember the day he was diagnosed terminally. My husband was waiting in the waiting room and I went to get him and before he even looked up I collapsed on the floor crying. It really is a hard time and just take every day as it comes when it comes to the emotions. 

Das was diagnosed terminally around June 2019 and we haven't had a palliative care nurse until this month! They really are a god send! We've had so much help and support already that I wish we had them sooner. We just feel through the cracks I think. 

I'm sorry to hear of your mum's dementia diagnosis too, it must be hard having to manage both conditions. Dad is of sound mind but has recently started confused and his personality has changed slightly. I wonder if this is the meds or the canvas spreading. 

Thank you for your congratulations. I'm now 34 weeks and getting tired myself. I'm still working full time from home, looking after my 3 year old and now also juggling all the care for dad. My husband is being so supportive and doing alot of the running around etc but his work have said if he is even away from the computer an hour he will be deducted pay so that's now another worry. 

I'm glad I could help! Even if it's slightly. Dad in the last day has now developed jaundice also. We are awaiting the palliative care nurse to come for a review. 

If you ever need to talk please message me. It's a strange thing to say but it's nice knowing you aren't alone. But I wish you weren't having to go through this.

Take care x

Hi, 

my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer roughly 12 months ago and had whipple surgery in November, unfortunately since the surgery he has been in and out of hospital with infections and has a leak.  He is now suffering from the exact same symptoms as your dad, cold, not eating very much at all, porridge sometimes, is getting sick and is losing weight, he just seems to be going downhill rapidly.  Unfortunately he lives in Ireland and me and my sisters live in the UK and are unable to get over to him!   I have actually emailed a cancer nurse in Ireland today to see if they can help. 

It’s so hard knowing he is suffering and not being able to help, so I know exactly how you feel. 

hi Savona16 , 

my dad is 62 and has terminal pancreatic cancer which has spread to lymph nodes and liver. my dad also experienced these symptoms where he wasn't eating for days  and had no energy to talk or move anywhere. we have also got a pallative nurse who is amazing and my dad has also been given morphine tablets as well as liquid morphine for the breaks in between alongside the anti sickness and laxatives. 

my dad was given steroids to help increase his appetite which helped greatly and he is now eating a multiple snacks a day so this may be something you could mention if possible. i know how hard it is to see you dad get weaker and weaker as i live with my dad also.

the best thing is to try take one day at a time as if you think too much into the future it can be very daunting but i know how hard it is to not think about it when you are placed in a situation like this.

unfortunately i couldn't helped you on how long it can be between not eating much to the end but reading your post helped me as it makes me realise i'm not alone and you are doing a amazing job xx