Finished treatment then crashed and burned

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Hi,

I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer last October just after turning 54. I had spent the summer getting a bigger and bigger stomach (ascites), losing my appetite and with terrible diarrhoea. I then spent the next 6 months getting treatment which consisted of 18 doses of chemotherapy and a major operation to remove everything halfway through. I wore a cold cap and although I lost a lot of hair I had so much to start with you'd never really know! So I don't look sick, something I didn't realise would be a bonus. Please consider wearing a cap if you're reading this and wondering. My oncologist nearly insisted and she was right. To finish chemo and have your hair is a win! On finished chemo I was so excited to be done and then was so exhausted I needed a blood transfusion and then I developed two blood clots in my leg. I'm still on blood thinning medication which isn't the easiest of medications re side effects. Just feel so tired and sickly still.

I am now on post chemo treatment of a drug called Aybintio which stops cancer growing back. I have this by infusion every 3 weeks. So far so good re side effects. Just a bit achey.

And so while still waiting to feel better physically, it's been tough lately dealing more with the mental health side of being sick now that I've more time to reflect. The fear just never goes away. And it's hard not to think about cancer 24/7!

I have a super great support network. Just writing this to feel better really.

Hang in there everyone else who's going through this.

Penners 6 months ago

Hi KathleenR

I finished chemotherapy a week before Christmas last year, surgery in January and yesterday I finished radiotherapy.

I feel so lost today. For weeks now I’ve realised that I don’t want to return to the job I was doing 9 months ago. It’s too stressful and too many people to manage. I know this sounds awful but I can’t be bothered with the problems that they have as, I think, I’ve not overcome the mental side of me having cancer and don’t have the ability to deal with their marital/children/financial woes.

I’ve been so positive throughout this whole journey but just feel adrift now.

I know I need to speak to someone who understands, I just saw your post and just wanted to vent a bit.

I’ve got great family and friends around me but like you, I just needed to get this off my chest tonight.

P x

Bekstar 5 months ago in reply to Penners

Just seen your post and totally get how you are feeling. I've not been at work since the first week of January due to ascites, draining, surgery and now chemo. I work in healthcare looking after people with brain injuries I've been thinking how can I go back and be the same selfless person that has done this job 23 years. It's a mentally, physically and emotional job that was tiring when I felt ok. I often think I don't think I could cope in some of the situations I would have to face on a daily basis or colleagues drama's. Still have 3 months of chemo to get through before I have to cross that bridge.

DebMac1 5 months ago

Hi Kathleen - also diagnosed Stage 3 HGSOC last October with ascites. Had successful 'debulking' first but recurrence before chemo started. Finished 6x carbo/taxol with beva for the last 3. Having a break from the next 13 beva while I holiday for 6 weeks (booked pre-diagnosis). Scans showed NED before I left. Overjoyed but still tired, headachey, pain, and worst of all, brain fog. Have also started getting anxiety spikes for no reason. Feel they are post-chemo or post-beva effects more than a mental/stress response to what I've been through. I have some neuropathy so not a big jump to say the toxicity could also be the cause of the feeling of pressure in my head, poor memory and retention, overwhelm, anxiety reactions but can't find any studies into the problems that continue months after chemo has ended. Thanks for sharing ypur experience. I feel the same!

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