Bi lateral salpingo oophrectomy

I do have a sibling (we’re polar opposites!) but I’m still most definitely a self confessed control freak! As Maite says, think of it as a ‘blip’ that you’ll soon be out the other side of . If they think it’s possible to do the surgery by keyhole they will (easier for them and a shorter recuperation for you) but they won’t take any chances; your safety is paramount.

As you know, mine had to be an open surgery but my friend had a keyhole/vaginal hysterectomy and her ovarian cysts were 20cm +. My understanding is that, if they can, they’ll detach the ovaries/tubes from everything else then dilate the cervix so that they can get them out, similar to the way in which the cervix dilates naturally during child birth. 

Have everything crossed that they’ll be able to do if keyhole but, if not, it really isn’t the end of the world - honest!  x 

Wow that’s interesting thanks - I never thought of that you just think omg 10cm and 12cm are huge and can’t be taken out through a small cut. Yes I’m trying now to focus on the “this time in 2 weeks …” rather than the “this time in 9 July …” not sure how I’ll feel nearer the 9th but all I can do is try. My colitis isn’t brilliant at the moment and I do think that’s mostly stress and heat so trying to manage that. Thanks for your comments - as I’ve said before it’s lovely to log on and see a message waiting. I have 1 friend who I’ve known for 40 years this year and she has been a lifesaver - she came with me to my BC diagnosis and was so calm and asked sensible positive questions and then picked me up after every chemo session and took me back to my parents (I had to stay with them for 24 hours after each chemo) - she’s going to come with me when I have to go back to gynae for the tests results. Lx

Yes, I was exactly the same - “How on earth are they going to get all of that out of there?” - but in the end it was the position of one of my ‘problems’ (6cm fibroid on my cervix), not its size, that made keyhole impossible. 

Just think, in less that two weeks it will be all over and you’ll be able to focus on your recovery x

Exactly - the weeks are flying by so I’m hoping the 9th goes as quickly and the time afterwards. Really appreciating the comments and reassurance and understanding on here as I haven’t been able to ask specific questions and not seen anyone in gynae since Jan 2024. I meet my other close friend once a month for Saturday breakfast and window shopping and we were due to go on 12th July - when I said could we postpone she said “no I’ll come to your house bring cake and costa and we can have a catch up” thought that was lovely gives me something to look forward to - she’s also looking after my cat and taking me to the hospital on the day so has keys to my house - lovely to have the support from them both - on another subject my washing machine broke a couple of weeks ago with washing and water inside and my plumber was on hols and when I messaged my friend and said what had happened her husband came round had a look and fixed it - so kind I wasn’t expecting it lx

Had a bit of an upsetting day really but I shouldn’t be surprised I guess. I don’t really have a close relationship with my mum and she asked me today who’d be picking me up from the hospital and taking me home? Well I hadn’t really thought about that yet so I replied I’d cross rhat beiwfe when I came to us and then she commented that it wasn’t a real operation if it was just keyhole - wow not sure what to say back so didn’t say anything - I don’t think I’m blowing things out of proportion okay so I’m pretty anxious but it’s not like I’m having a tooth removed. Glad I have good friends lx

I’m not surprised you’re upset but sounds to me like your reaction was spot on, ie no reaction.

Obviously, I don’t know your mum but I seem to recall you saying she was in her 80s? Perhaps she wasn’t being intentionally dismissive; just doesn’t understand what keyhole surgery is?

In our mums’ days, keyhole wasn’t an option, it was open surgery or nothing. Even with open surgery, you’re in hospital for a fraction of the time you used to be. I was told I’d be in hospital for 2-3 days for my TAH & BSO. 20-30 years ago a woman having the same operation would probably have been in hospital for 2-3 weeks. 

Could also be that, deep down, she’s worried about you and by telling you it isn’t a “real operation” she can somehow convince herself of that? 

I would expect the hospital will want someone to pick you up so maybe something else to discuss with your friend? Also, if you do end up having an open surgery ask her if she can bring a soft cushion or pillow with her to put between your tummy and the seatbelt. A nurse friend of mine advised that and I was so glad she did. Mine was a long ‘bikini line’ incision - right where the lap belt sits. 

Good friends are worth their weight in gold, aren’t they? x

You could be right - yes they are both in their late 80s and my mum especially doesn’t show any emotion or make positive comments - perhaps it’s their generation?

I haven’t mentioned coming back from the hospital as I don’t want anyone to feel obliged - my friend who offered to take me said she knew I was worried about my dad driving me there in the rush hour as he was bound to be worried and maybe not concentrate - I will have to find out about getting home. She’s prob the best person to ask as although she works from home all the time like I do she’s always there on the end of a phone and I’m sure she would be able to help me 

yes good friends are amazing. I do have 1 friend and when I was in hospital for those 2 weeks she didn’t visit me or offer to help at all. She said she was busy but people did comment that she just couldn’t deal with it which I guess some people can’t lx

I agree with Faith: your mum is probably not too sure what "keyhole" is, and to her it sounds a very simple procedure. Actually, even I thought it sounded a bit strange when I first had keyhole (two years ago) and they kept referring to it as "major surgery"! I kind of thought about the superficial holes and didn't really think about the fact that the incision goes really deep, through muscle and removes a large organ from inside you. It was a case of what you don't see, which perhaps actually made me feel less anxious as I just thought about those small holes both before and after the surgery...! 

Take several phone numbers with you because at this stage you can't be sure how long you will be in nor what time of day they will let you out. If you have several options, the most appropriate one will become clear to you nearer the time or whilst you are in.

I was only in a couple of days for each surgery, but I already told my friend next door I didn't want any visitors! I knew I couldn't deal with anyone seeing me in a hospital gown and moving around very slowly. I don't "do" ill or unfit at all well, and never have done. If I have a cold, I hide away. If I cut my finger and have to wear a plaster, I hide away! So I just wanted to hide away and get through the hospital time on my own. Perhaps if I'd had to stay in a great deal longer, I might have felt differently - I don't know. 

Yes I know what you mean - I’d rather not think about it but I like to know full details of the procedure which is contradictory! When I had my lumpectomy I had a tiny scar and the surgeon was amazing.

when I was discharged after the 2 awful weeks it was about 9pm and I had to wait outside the hospital for my dad. 2 of the nurses carried my bags and then left me on the pavement.

im going to struggle getting a lift home but ill have to see what I can do - it’s difficult where people work isn’t it? They can’t just leave their job to pick me up and take me home? I know 1 frie def won’t come into the hospital as her dad recently passed away in there and at the moment she just can’t deal with going in there which I understand. Obvs I won’t be able to carry my bag so whoever picks me up will need to come to the ward? Unless a nurse or HCA brings it for me? Who knows?

They’ve suggested a “light meal” before I have to stop eating at 3am - would that be something like tomato soup and bread? Then I have to stop drinking at 7am and will struggle with that because of previous tongue ops I get a really dry mouth and throat but I told anaesthetist that so hopefully that may mean I’m near the top of the list? Mind is whizzing tonight sorry lx

Yes I would say something like soup would be good for a light meal. 

I actually booked a taxi each way for both of my surgeries. My friend next door had my dogs the first time so she couldn't. The second time, my partner had the Girls but he won't drive (he can - but he won't if it's outside of his comfort zone) so the easiest seemed to be a taxi. I knew I would have to carry my bag each time, so I made sure I didn't take very much.