After what feels like weeks of falling through the cracks in the NHS, I have been told that they will probably not be able to operate on my ovarian cancer.
I'm devastated. It feels like every time I see a doctor they have more bad news. I feel too frightened to ask what stage and grade it is because I don't want to know if I've got a BBE shorter than a lettuce. I only know at the moment that it's late stage and I'm starting chemotherapy on Wednesday.
I had a scan of my known about ovarian cysts in August and it came back fine. No changes. When I finally got another one in December due to my stomach swelling, I had a mass in there that hadn't been seen before.
My asites was drained once before Christmas, once when they took some biopsies and about a week ago when I ended up in A&E because I couldn't keep food down. I'd been told since Christmas that the gynaecology cancer team would be discussing me in their meeting and yet a member of the team said that they'd heard nothing until I came in that third time.
I've been told by my consultant that they have lots of drugs and I still might have a chance at surgery if they manage to shrink it. I'm normally an optimistic person but I can't stop feeling like I'm being given slim chances. I have some fluid on my lungs but was told in December that it was the asites having pushed it through. Again, I'm worried to ask if this is correct because it tips it further.
Has anyone else been where I am and got through it? I'm really struggling and not sleeping isn't helping.
