Remission and the mental effects of cancer

Hi first read this paper it explains all https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf and don't be sorry about posting we have all been there, once the comfort blanket is removed and we are left to look after ourselves.

It is true your feeling are all normal and its about learning to trust and understand your body as you are on hyper alert to minor changes, sadly it takes time and each of us is different in how we handle it, same for the new you, as we all yearned to get back to normal, but no one tells you normal no longer exists as you have found. 

To help me I started to look for positives in everything and focused on them and life starts to look brighter and if `I had a bit of a bad day then my thought was tomorrow is a new day and new start. 

You will learn to cope and life does improve, whilst the noise may never go totally it does lessen with time, so hang in there you will learn to cope.

John 

Hi and welcome to our corner of the Community but sorry to hear that you are finding the post treatment journey hard.

Good to see John has posted the great paper as it is a good place to start to understand the post treatment milestones.

I would always recommend talking face to face with someone...... check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

I have been on my cancer journey for over 20 years now so never did find the old me....... it's more like I found a few new me's over this time. I have to say that once I got my head engaged and actually did see a future was out there I am now rather happy with the new me.

This is a Macmillan Info book about talking with children.

Have a look at the paper and come back to us.

Hi

It certainly isn't silly and I understand what you are going through as I have been feeling exactly the same way. I have struggled with this on my own for such a long time. Finding this online community has really helped me. I am fortunate to have a Maggie's centre local to me and after suggestions from the community I contacted them and visited the centre and was able to have a one to one chat with one of their specialist nurses about my feelings and it really helped having someone to talk this through with.

Thank you so much, that article was a huge help and validated a lot of what i am going through. 

After reading through the paper I would always challenge folks to become proactive and use the paper as a vehicle for change and life improvement.

So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.

So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards. 

When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements....... and when I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.

The headings would be:

What steps am I taking to regain trusts in my body?

What steps am I taking to regain trust in myself?

What steps am I taking to overcome living with uncertainty?

What steps am I taking to deal with the world?

What steps am I taking to regain mastery and control of my life?

Try it, the future is sitting in front of you - think about driving a car. The big windscreen shows the future, the past is in the little mirrors and is getting smaller and more fuzzy as we move forward.....if you concentrate on the past you crash.

And im also going to have a look into the maggies place its also a huge relief speaking to people who understand no matter how much people try to support me its hard taking advice from people who dont know what its like as they havent experienced it 

I would totally recommend a trip to your nearest Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing. Up in the Highlands folks will do a 4hr round trip just to get the support.

I actually did ok during my years being treated but my main issue was survivors guilt. Over the past few years I have had 4 very close friends pass away from their type of cancer and I survived them all........ but Maggie’s helped me unpack the invisible rucksack of stuff collected over the years.

Oh crikey that sounds horrible im so sorry for your loss, its good you found somewhere to express your feelings and have somebody help.  

You know, two of the lads were diagnosed many years after my first diagnosis and only survived a year or so. But the three of us sat with a cup of coffee and made an agreement that the last man standing would live life to the full as a celebration of those who had went first.

Its all about living life to the full and taking each day as it comes as if tomorrow is my very last day.