My husband was diagnosed in May 2018, at the age of 32, with mediastinal b cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. He went through 3 1/2 months of R-Chop and then 3 weeks of radiotherapy. His first post-treatment scan showed the tumor was gone, and he has been recovering really well. For the most part, we are coping ok, but as the time approaches for his next 3-month scan I can't help but be overcome with fear. I have tried talking to some of our friends (who have been very supportive) but they have not experienced cancer themselves and they do not seem to understand why I am so scared. My husband looks good, he does have his extremely tired moments but overall he is doing well, so people just assume its all over. I just feel like I am holding my breath constantly thinking that more bad news is coming. Every time he coughs or doesn't feel well I just feel like its starting all over again. I am just wondering how everyone else deals with it?
Hi and welcome to this conrer of the Online Community but sorry to see you joinging us.
Ho, there are lot of folks who understand what you are going through, scanxiety is such a real thing. Following that last clic and results are good then we put a lot of the stuff we carry around up on the high shelf...... but then that letter comes in and we look up and pick everything from the shelf again.
So to help - when I post this great paper, folks will actually come back to me and say that they think that the paper had been written just about them. But I would always challenge folks to become proactive after reading through it and using it as a vehicle for change and life improvement.
So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.
So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards.
When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.
The headings would be:
What steps are you taking to regain trusts in your body?
What steps are you taking to regain trust in yourself?
What steps are you taking to overcome living with uncertainty?
What steps are you taking to deal with the world?
What steps are you taking to regain mastery and control of your life?
Try it, the future is sitting in front of you - think about driving a car. The big windscreen shows the future, the past is in the little mirrors and is getting smaller and more fuzzy as we move forward.....if you concentrate on the past you crash.
It would be really useful if you could put something into your profile as this does help others when replying to you or for those looking for support and information as they can read a bit about your journey so far.
Just click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile' under the 'Profile Settings'. If you're not sure what sort of thing to put just click on my username, Thehighlander to read my profile but my cancer journey was rather long.
We also have the Life after Cancer Forum where folks from various cancers support each other.
Always around to help out and support.
Hi again from a beautiful day up in the Highlands of Scotland and yes, talking with others who have been on the rollercoaster does actually help a lot.
During our long 20 years living my cancer journey we quickly mastered the ‘today is a new day’ mindset and when the negatives came along - and there were lots, we never went to sleep without thinking about and highlighting two positives for each negative. Doing this developed a positive mindset that was to get us both through.
I am a very visual person so I like using mental pictures to help visualise progression in the bad or challenging times.
I see you were from Canada so you will totally get this picture.
I see the cancer journey to be like a climb up a craggy Scottish Mountain. These Mountains have well trodden paths with little cairns (stones on stones) put up by the many folks who have walked these paths before us.
At each cairn the path divides in two - these are the points of decision - like..... How we deal with side effects.....? The mental and physical challenges.....!! The picking our selves up 'again' times......!! It’s scan time again....!! How can we move on...?
We do have to look very carefully at where each track will take us. Do we knuckle down and tough it out and keep climbing up or do we take the low path and keep going round the hill and not reaching the summit...... not seeing that view for the first time.
When you look at the cairns they are always just on the tracks that will lead to the top. So each stone that is put on the cairns is a "yes we can do this" decision......... keep putting the stones on the 'yes' cairns....... and every now and then have a look back down the hill and see the starting point and all the little cairns on the paths you have taken. The further you move on, the past looks very small and fuzzy at the edges.
If you keep walking the low paths you will see stones left at the side of the track where that hope and dream was lost.
Always around to listen x
