Scared

Tude 23 days ago

5 replies
81 subscribers
406 views

Hello all, i am new here so please excuse me if i dont make sense or ramble on.

Yesterday I was diagnosed with Nodular Melanoma. Currently it is Stage 1b which i took to be a positive. However after the consultant said i am to be referred to another hospital to see a plastic surgeon to discuss a sentinel node biopsy & wider excision. I feel so scared and i want to be positive but my head wont allow me to. I feel so guilty as i cant tell my parents who are both in their 80's as my mum isnt well & i think the shock may make her worse. Therefore i am keeping it quiet with only a few close friends and my husband/ daughter/son in law knowing. I could go on but for now this is probably enough. I just want to be more positive & not drift off into morbid thoughts, hopefully being a p[art of the community will help me with that

latchbrook 22 days ago

Hi Tude and a very warm welcome to the group which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I was diagnosed with melanoma nearly 9 years ago now and had a wide local excision (WLE) and sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB). Like you, I was scared at the prospect as I'd never had a general anaesthetic before or been operated on in hospital. However, for me, the procedure and recovery was much easier than I imagined so please don't be scared. I'm happy to share the procedures with you if you want to know more ahead of seeing the plastic surgeon.

It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

Tude 22 days ago in reply to latchbrook

Thankyou very much for your reply. i clicked on your username and i got a better grasp of what is to come. I will definitely put up my profile. Thankyou again.

andyh1981 22 days ago

Your feelings are natural in the situation. Consider speaking to your GP for help managing the additional anxiety. Lorazepam has worked for me personally.

EmW123 21 days ago

My initial diagnosis also came at a time when I felt I couldn't tell my parents because they had a lot going on with my ailing grandparents (one of them passed away the week after I was diagnosed) - keeping it quiet initially helped me to get a grasp of it all so that when I did eventually tell my mum I was calm and didn't get emotional and was super positive which I think alleviated her worries a lot. I understand you don't want to make your mum ill with the shock so it's slightly different situation (and one you shouldn't feel guilty about) - hopefully being part of this community will help you and will give you more people to speak to than your husband and children.

Buffy 20 days ago

Hello Tude,

Sorry to hear your news.

It is scary all this but I think it is a natural reaction and processing all the information the Dr's have given you takes time. I understand how you feel guilty about not telling your parents, I was the same with my Mum who was 89 at the time. I decided to tell her when I felt able to and it did help, she was very upset and worried but at the same time she really helped me.

It's good you have other support and I myself have used the help offered by Macmillan to talk things through and it really helped.

My personal experience of my journey through it all, since 2017 and again now, is to go with the thoughts I have... I felt upset, scared, angry, confused, kept thinking I can't go through it all. It is all natural and I think it's kind of getting you prepared. For me it was like being on a roller coaster but you will get there.

Don't be hard on yourself, try and eat well, get lots of rest, go for walks, listen to music, breathing exercises, watch rubbish on tv, do little things you enjoy and eat lots of cake.

It used to annoy me when people used to say ' be strong, you will get through it and it will make you stronger'. It definitely didn't feel like that at that time but coming to the point I'm at now, I think I actually am stronger, still scared of the future, still anxious some days, but stronger knowing I got through it all again and I am getting there.

All the best.

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