New here - potential melanoma

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Hi all,

I'm new here having kindly been recommended by Latchbrook that this was the best place to reach out to people in a similar situation and that can offer support. I have also filled out my profile but here is a little bit about my situation.

I had a mole excision 5 weeks ago and am currently waiting for the results to see if it could be melanoma. The mole was on my right forearm and around 9mm at its largest point. I saw the dermatologist within two weeks of being referred and was lucky enough to have the mole removal the following day. However, they advised that the wait for results was 8 weeks.

I am going out of my mind with worry and I am also having to delay IVF treatment as they advised that under no circumstances should I get pregnant in case it is melanoma that requires cancer treatment.

The anxiety has become crippling, I am experiencing severe headaches that I was even hospitalised for this week which I am sure are a result of severe anxiety and muscles that have gone into spasm because of extreme stress levels.

The hardest part is the not knowing and also the fact that my wife and I are unable to start our fertility treatment which has been an ongoing process since January 2021. My wife has the BRCA 2 gene and as a result we are lucky that we were able to have funded IVF treatment to avoid passing this gene on to future children. They are also going to let me carry my wife's embryos as we had always planned that it would be myself carrying the pregnancy.

To be told that I cannot get pregnant is quite frankly heartbreaking, especially as I am getting older and the longer all the results for skin cancer take, the harder it will be for me to fall pregnant and carry to full term.

My worry is that it has already taken this long and if I am told that it is cancer, then there will be even longer to wait if I have to have a WLE and SLNB and then the wait for those results. It's all just too much to be honest. I think I would cope a little better if it wasn't for the pregnancy stuff, but that is just adding another layer of urgency to the whole thing.

I appreciate that the NHS is struggling to keep up with the demand at the moment. My trip to A&E with a 14 hour wait time proved that it's pretty much on its knees. It's just so difficult with the waiting times for everything and the unnecessary anxiety that it causes.

Anyway, I am glad I have come here and have read some of the posts and it seems like this is such a great place to come for support and community.

K x

ldg559 over 1 year ago

Hi KayleighH

I’m sorry to hear what you are going through and can totally understand where you are. The impact to IVF must feel awful at the moment.

When I was at your stage I too had crippling anxiety. I had a few other things going on at the same time and I simply couldn’t function, headaches, not sleeping, night sweats, mind racing, complete loss of appetite etc. I didn’t find a quick fix but I did go to my gp for some help to get through the hardest part. The point it really changed for me was once I had the results from the original mole removal. In my case the results were not the results I wanted but knowing was far better than not knowing. Since then although I still have bad days here and there, I’ve been able to make my peace with it to some extent and most of the debilitating symptoms have subsided or disappeared.keeping myself occupied and busy was also key. For me through this, the mental challenge has been more impacting than the physical challenge.

But all that aside, there are still plenty of people that have moles removed due to concerns from derm that are given a clean bill of health. So I’ll have my fingers crossed for you that you get some good news soon and can get back on track with the IVF quickly. Best of luck to you!

KayleighH over 1 year ago in reply to ldg559

Hi ldg559

Thank you so much for your reply.

I think you are right that the worst part is the not knowing. The feeling of being in complete limbo and having absolutely no control.

I am so hoping that the results come back as okay, but there is a horrible gut feeling that is telling me otherwise.

I'm also annoyed at myself that I left it as long as I did. I think I was so wrapped up in getting prepared for our wedding and being so stressed that wouldn't happen due to covid, that things like looking out for suspicious moles totally slipped my mind. I have the classic skin type of very pale, blonde haired and lots of moles and freckles that I should have been more careful.

I also used an app called skinvision which is paid for as part of a medical incentive through work and that said I didn't need to worry as their panel of dermatologists had reviewed it and didn't think it needed any medical attention, so I left it a little longer. Thank goodness I did follow up with a GP as it was a completely different story when I saw the dermatologist at my local hospital.

I am just a whole bag of emotions right now and I am trying to navigate that as well as dealing with severe pain. Wish I just had a switch to turn it all off, as I am sure many of us do.

I'm sorry to hear that your results were not ones that you wanted, but at least when you knew, the horrible symptoms dissipated a little. I hope it will be the same for me also.

K x

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