Morning.
New to the site. Just had first chemo/immuno today.
Trying to keep positve but so hard at times.
Reading through some.of these posts really helpful though.
Thanks one and all
Hi Deb15 and welcome. Sorry to hear you've had a diagnosis of melanoma. I was diagnosed about a year ago and have just had my 9 th dose of immunotherapy (Pembro) for stage 3c melanoma. It's a shocking event for sure.
Well done on getting through all the scans and surgeries to get to this point. I hope your first treatment went ok and the staff looked after you well, they usually do! There is no reason you must stay positive all the time, you don't have to "battle with" or "fight" the cancer every moment of every day hon. I find my emotions are up and down even after a year. I still cry at unexpected and inappropriate times, choose another song for my wake party, forget I'm having drugs for cancer, still can't decide if I have cancer or have had cancer! , spend all day working on my alottment then wonder why I spend the next day feeling worn out. I'm presuming it remains a bit of a rollercoaster as it's a sneaky disease and we'll always be on the lookout for a new or changed mole!
What you're feeling is just fine hon, there's no right or wrong way to feel about this. Most important things are to stay well so you can carry on having treatment regularly, enjoy time to yourself relaxing, have treats when you want them, enjoy time with family and love ones just because you can and I hope for you what I've found which is that the melanoma does not define you. It is not what you are and although important it recedes to being a "part" of your life not the whole of it.
Wow I hope I've not bored you here as I've certainly been philosophical. Thank you for letting me rant and actually write down what I feel Deb15.
Take care 
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