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Hi Twocrazykids, I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis welcome to the group where we all (well some) pitch in with replies from our own experience. I had a look at your profile to find out about more about your diagnosis but I think I looked to soon for you to have done it. That’s a good way to start it’s like telling yourself about what’s happening and digesting it to be able to explain it to others. I have found others often ask questions which I hadn’t thought to ask and didn’t have a reply to, or people took a not interested as that protects them approach, or could say things that sounded dismissive rather than helpful. I got hold of the Macmillan booklet talking about cancer and left it on a coffee table perhaps a passive aggressive approach but it made me feel better. The booklet helped me look at how I might talk to my husband and grown up kids.

If you want to say about more about you I’m dipping in and out this morning, my melanoma experience isn’t as standard as most but is in my profile (click on my user name to get there), or Macmillan have a free phone line to their info and support people on 0808 808 0000 open 8am to 8pm

Hi Twocrazykids and a second welcome to the online community

I'm sorry to read that you've been diagnosed with melanoma but you've come to the right place to talk about it and ask questions.

As to how to tell close friends and family, I just spoke to them via Skype/Facetime as soon as I knew as they were all waiting to find out what my lesion was. Then as I found out more about what was going to happen I let them know that too. Some asked me lots of questions others not so many but I just went with the flow.

It would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

x

Hi Twocrazykids, 

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. 

I've told my husband on the day, straight away, it was the most difficult one to be honest. After that it was easier to tell my two good friends face to face. I mostly talked about facts regarding my diagnosis and what will happen in terms of treatment and expectations for the future. And I said openly that I am scared and I'll need their support, just to listen my worries rather than giving me "don't worry it'll be OK" talk. 

I haven't told anyone apart from those three or four people including my manager at work, until I got my WLE and SLNB results. 

After I had "all clear" results, I told my mum and extended family, it helped to give the bad news of "melanoma diagnosis" together with the good news that it is "only stage 1and is sorted now".

Hope this helps. 

Welcome Twocrazykids, I've been diagnosed since last March.  My daughter was the first person I told after a friend.  That was hard. She is 21.  I kept the news to myself to start with while I processed the diagnosis and treatment. A CT scan revealed two brain aneurysms so there was a bit to process!

All I spoke to quite directly, just saying I'd found a mole and it was cancer. My surgery(WLE and SLNB) wasn't til July so I had quite a bit of time to worry.  My main three friends checked up on me. I found it easier than I thought. Some asked how serious it was and others told stories of someone they know with cancer!

I am a fairly direct person(nurse!) so I never pretend to be better than I feel but the sad emotions I keep to myself mostly.

It's early days for you now and it's great if you feel ready to share as it's a huge burden to carry alone. The truth is always best I believe, be prepared for occasional odd reactions but if you're ready then go for it. We certainly need the support from those we care about. Take care x