Trying to be brave …

Hi KFaythe…so sorry that you have found yourself here through your diagnosis but glad you have reached out to this community….I was diagnosed in July and I’m not really sure how I would have handled things had it not been for linking up with people on here and learning so much along the way….I had my WLE on my upper back in September along with a sentinel node biopsy both of which healed incredibly well with very little discomfort…but for many of us it’s the anxiety of not knowing and the wait between procedures and scans that is the hardest and it sounds like your anxiety is high at the moment which under the circumstances is absolutely normal…..I would say post any questions you may have about your WLE and someone will come back to you also I contacted the cancer nurse/key worker several times to ease my mind over things I didn’t understand and also reached out to Macmillan for some emotional support when things got tough….please keep checking in and take care x

Completely understand where you are coming from. Well done for connecting on here for support. It took me almost a year from my diagnosis and surgeries and treatment.

I can understand how you are feeling as I am going through that, checking out loved ones are supported and then feeling lonely myself especially as time has gone on, I have treatment every 6 weeks but have to go alone thanks to covid. I should say I am in the hospital alone but between that days appointments I have a wonderful friend who waits outside to be with me in between and then take me home, something my husband hasn’t thought to do. And when you are not actually living the diagnosis no one can really understand how you feel.

connect with friends or family that want to support you through this, it’s vital support for you and your mental health which does take a battering at some point. I am going through a real anger phase right now, kind of like being through the stages of grief. Which it probably is as we have suffered a loss of life carrying on as it did as it now has the big C in it. 

but be sure to know you are not alone and this chat is here for you and any questions you have or feelings you want to share. We might not always have the answers but we sure will listen and respond.

My children are much bigger 23,21 and 16 years and imagine it’s must be hard with a baby although not so much explaining or talking about it needed. Lots of snuggly baby cuddles to enjoy.

Apologies I seem to have taken over this thread. I am not sure how you can do it except gently but with your friends you need to shift the balance, you need the support and you can also guide them towards Macmillan who has a supporters link. Be honest and upfront with them and how you are feeling. I wish you all the best x

Hi KFaythe, 

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I didn't wanna upset my hubby and couldn't talk about it openly due to similar reasons at the beginning. After a month of my diagnosis, we were able to share feelings, I think it was a shock for both of us and didn't know how to react in order not to upset each other at the beginning. 

It is difficult for people to relate if they haven't been through this, although friends try to be supportive they sometimes think only way is to say positive things,whereas one wants to be listened rather than hearing "oh don't worry, you'll be OK". My friend who had cancer twice told me this once when I was telling her not to worry and it made massive difference in my attitude. I think be honest with them and tell them this. What you are going through is about "you" and you should get all the support you need, the way you need it. 

I found that this forum is great for support and finding answers to your questions related to treatment. Also, I am a big advocate for talking therapy and luckily Macmillan provides 6 free sessions to support people newly diagnosed.

We all been through same rollercoaster, so keep posting and sharing. 

Thank you IvysMum. It sounds so silly but the location of mine has stressed me the most because it’s impacted by so much I do with M. She’s kicked while changing her nappy this morning and it hurt so much. But I try to be grateful I’ve not got nerve damage. 

Thank you so much Jazz, I will definitely guide them to the supporters link. The range of emotions is so chaotic at the moment; I go from fine to angry to annoyed to grateful. 

I wasn’t aware of the therapy, I will reach out and ask. 

Hi again KFaythe….I guess trying to be a good mum to a young child whilst coping with this must be super hard x…..do contact Macmillan and ask for their counselling services….I got to speak to someone within a week and it really helped…I think we all try to be grateful for lots of things but don’t let that make you try and cope on your own x

Hi KFaythe, and anyone else here - I have only just had melanoma removed, but already told that they are 99% certain that it is malignant. I was ok to start with, and trying to be brave, mainly because of my 2 beautiful daughters with young children and babies, but I had a call 24 hrs after removal asking me to go in for cardio vascular ultrasound on monday, and I am terrified. No one to talk to, and completely unaware of any counselling. 

I can't sleep, and wait until hubby is asleep, before letting the tears start. This is my first time here, and I am so grateful to have found someone/somewhere I can go to talk. I can't help anyone much, but I can listen, and chat anytime.

Take care all x

sorry, but what is a WLE? (I'm very new to this.) thanks

Hi HappyNana….glad you have found your way here as there is so much support and good information…it’s a place I never thought I would be either until July of this year…if you take a look at my profile that give more info…so sorry to hear that you are struggling, I think you will find that everyone says the same following diagnosis…it’s such a hard knock…but the advice I was given initially of not googling….just use Macmillan or other UK reputable sites there is loads of good info on the main Macmillan site…contact your nurse/key worker if you are concerned or just want a question answering …they are very good and post here and try and focus outwards when you are able…it’s early days yet and I found the ‘not knowing’ the hardest bit as well as the waiting…I think most people feel the same…a WLE is a wide local excision a procedure which removes more tissue around the original site…please let us know how you get on x