New diagnosis

Hello Tids, I am sorry to hear about your Mum. You said in your other post that things weren’t looking good, but you’ve also said that you don’t know the extent of it. I’m wondering if your Mum and Dad are just able to take one step at a time but it’s harder for you as you are not with her. I see you have joined the friends and family group for support to which is great to get support from others going through the same worry, and here for ask for any experience specific to melanoma and what your Mum is going through. 

I have no personal experience of a wide local excision or sentinel lymph node biopsy as my primary was not found and my diagnosis was when many lymph nodes were effected. I am hoping things will feel better for you as more information unfolds. I have 2 daughters who live a big distance away, who I’ve only seen via iPads in the last 18 months. I don’t think I truly know how big my health fits into their thoughts, but I hope and think they understand that sometimes I need some back up on the positive side, but also some understanding at the peaks of uncertainty. 

I hope the uncertainty settles for you all soon.

Hi Tids

I'm sorry to hear that your mum has recently been diagnosed with melanoma and I know what a worrying time this will be for the whole family.

It's natural to feel scared when we don't know what's happening and you might benefit from taking a look at this information from Macmillan on your feelings when someone has cancer. 

I was diagnosed with melanoma nearly 5 years ago and I'm wondering if the "further tests" you are talking about is a sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) which is offered to those whose melanoma is over a certain size? I had this procedure so I'm happy to explain what's involved if you think that might help you.

I noticed in another post that you had said "that things don't look good" and I'm wondering why you think that? Perhaps if you could tell us more about your mum's melanoma, if you know, eg. the size, known as the Breslow depth, etc we could help further with what to expect next. To give you an idea my melanoma was a Stage 2a, amelanotic melanoma, 1.45mm deep and ulcerated and after diagnosis I had the standard wide local excision (WLE) and choose to have the SLNB.

Providing that no cancer cells are found after the WLE and SLNB then your mum ill need no further treatment but will have three monthly check-ups for three years and then six monthly check-ups for a further two years. I'm just coming to the end of my two years of six monthly check-ups.

Sending a virtual ((hug))

Thank you for the reply. It is really appreciated and I'm pleased to read your positive story.

For context my mum found a lump in her arm the size of a pea. She went to her GP who said it was nothing to worry about and referred her for a non urgent scan. I decided this was too long so organized one privately. It was inconclusive so then her GP decided to send her for a mammogram that was clear. The lump had massively increased by then. They referred her for an MRI and biopsy and the MDT made the diagnosis. So firstly I fear that this delay will have done harm because it was mislabeled as non urgent by the GP. 

The lump is not near any moles, my mum does not really have any. So I've concluded after doing research that the lump is secondary and has already spread to her lymph nodes, which is making me panic. There is no obvious sign of a primary. Again from reading I've convinced myself it's stage 3. 

She was called by a nurse to say that she would be called on for more tests this week including a CT another MRI and an examination of her skin. 

I just feel sick all the time and am so scared for her xx

I'm so sorry that you have been separated from your family for so long. 

I signed up as I want to support my mum on anyway that I can and want to stay positive but have scared myself from what I have read and fear it's already spread to lymph nodes and become metastatic, which I was unhelpfully told by a doctor contact that outcomes are poor and another friend who works in management has told me we will be waiting ages because of the backlog. Alongside the fact her GP probably made a poor call by not putting her through for an urgent ultrasound everything just seems to be worse case scenario.

Take care x