Diagnosis not being took seriously

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Hi, bit of a strange one. I was recently diagnosed with stage 1 melanoma and it’s knocked me a bit all over mentally. I’m covered in moles and feel a constant worry checking them all now.
Now I’m not an overly dramatic or attention seeking person and really very private but the reaction from people around me has really shocked me! I’ve only told my partner, his family and my immediate family. But my partner mainly (which has made me open my eyes massively) just doesn’t seem to care. Because it’s early stage it’s just been ignored with an attitude of it just needs cut out it’s normal. I’ve been told stories of their hairdressers aunties mother had it just cut it out it’s fine. The day of my diagnosis I got messages of congratulations and how happy they were for me and I must be so relieved and I just didn’t have that feeling at all! I wanted to be told it wasn’t melanoma of any stage! I’m waiting for results from my WLE still but it’s just been dismissed because it’s early stage. I didn’t want dramatics and attention but maybe just some thought and care! I know it could have been a lot worse and I am very lucky but it has still affected me! I’m young with a family so it has shocked me a bit.
sorry bit of a ramble probably didn’t make much sense just didn’t know where else to post!

Buffy 4 hours ago

Hello, sorry to hear about your diagnosis and hope you are doing OK after your op.

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been thinking about this for a while since my last experience of it all. It's good you've explained how you feel.

I think there is a real lack of knowledge about Melanoma and unless people have had similar experiences or know someone close who has, they don't really understand how serious the diagnosis is and how it can affect a person, physically but definately mentally. Some people find it hard don't know what to say and just avoid you.

I don't think some people know what Melanoma is. I had a friend who actually said 'maybe you need to tell people you've got skin cancer, not just Melanoma'. I don't think it gets enough press personally. Not that it's a competition but I hear lots about another cancers, adverts, news stories etc but hardly ever about Melanoma and skin cancer. Alot of people seem unaware of the consequences.

I've come to the conclusion that some people just can't deal with it or don't know how to respond, even though they do care. Some people maybe deal with it differently, guess it depends what personality they have, their own health and what's going on in there own life. People sometimes try to be positive about it to you also but sometimes you don't want that.

I've found it's the people you think will be supportive turn out not to be and vice versa! Some family members kept saying things like, shouldn't you be moving around ok now and why have you still got the bandages on after a couple of weeks. I offered to send them the photos...they said no thanks! When they actually saw it recently, almost healed and the wound half the size it was, they were totally shocked and said ' oh my goodness it's awful, I didn't think it was that bad!' Great thanks!

I've learnt that as long as you are honest about how you feel especially to yourself, and if people don't respond as you think, then let them feel what they feel and you concentrate on yourself, self-care and do something nice, like eat cake, go for a walk etc.

Sorry its a long reply but thought it might help.

Fingers crossed for good results.

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